if you call for me, i'll run to you | a doug ross fanfiction

72.

72.
untitled
February 12, 1999

"how do you feel toward him?"
"i feel everything"
"i'm so unbelievably mad at him for proposing to me then leaving"
"part of me thinks he's so narcissistic and selfish for it"
"but?"
"but i'm sad too"
"i'm sad that he left me"
"i'm sad about the way things ended"
"why?"
i wiped my tears away.
"nobody knew him like i did"
"i had a soft spot for him"
"i saw the real and raw doug"
"i saw the vulnerable one, the one who would open up to you at the end of the day"
i paused.
"he really cares for those kids"
"in some ways he was one big kid himself"
"i don't know if that good or bad" i laughed
"he never meant to break rules or do bad things, he was just helping people out"
"and?"
"i spend my day looking over my shoulder, waiting for him to come in the room and tell me everything will be okay"
"i don't know"
"i feel insane" i laughed

a/n: i posted two parts today since they were kind of short. i was heavily considering scratching this whole part, but i figured it was good for the story. i hope you like where this story is going. i know it's hard to like it, but it's not over yet. i'm still stuck on how i want to end this story.. i have two possible endings. luckily, i have a little bit of time to think about it. i will be posting twice a week again so i hope you look forward to that. on the other hand, i have something important coming out this friday, so stay tuned for that.
votes & comments are beyond appreciated<3