if you call for me, i'll run to you | a doug ross fanfiction

44.

43.
untitled
January 11, 1998

"y/n, i have a patient in exam four i need you to look at" mark said
i stopped, i felt a weird taste in my mouth, blood
"hold on"
i bent down at the water fountain and swished around water in my mouth
"you alright?"
"bit my tongue"
"let me take a look" mark said getting out his flashlight
"no,no it's okay" i insisted
"anyways where's that patient?"
"exam four, can't tell if it's abuse or not"
i went into the exam room, it was clearly neglect.
sad, she was an elderly woman.

i had been working for a couple hours already. i had about two hours left on my shift. i was so ready to go home. i looked outside and it was dark already.
i'd been pondering the thought of taking a break for a long time. i mean, i had enough vacation time.
i opened the door to the lounge, weaver was sitting there.
"can i help you, y/n?"
"actually yes, i need to talk"
"have a seat" she smiled
"i need some time off"
"okay, how long?"
"a week or so"
"you're probably confused as to why i'm coming to you rather than mark"
"he's your friend, he would probably try to talk you out of it"
"yeah"
"i'll have someone to cover for you, i think it's good that you're choosing to do this"
"really?"
"the whole staff can tell that you're overworked, it hasn't effected your performance which, i applaud you for but physically i can see"
"well thank you kerry, i appreciate it"
"anytime, y/n" she smiled

my last patient to discharge of the day and maybe for awhile.
"your urine sample came back, you have a uti"
"i'll write you a prescription for some medication, that'll take it right away"
"so it's gonna be okay?"
"yeah, it's not to worry, if anything gets worse or if you're worried you can always come back"
teenage girl, first uti i guess
"and you're not gonna tell my mom?"
"that would be illegal for me to do"
i handed her the prescription
"thanks dr. l/n"
"have a good night, emma"

my shift ended a half hour ago, i sat behind a gurney in the dark.
what's up?" mark said
he sat on the gurney, above me.
"you found me" i laughed
"y/n?"
"weaver told me you're taking time off"
"everything's up"
"i was going to tell you, i'm sorry, i just got swamped"
"it's okay"
"doug?" he added
i stayed silent
"your upset about him, huh?"
"of course i am"
the room was filled with silence again
"am i a selfish person?"
"no, i could tell you liked him a lot"
"for once in my life i really fell in love with someone"
"if you love someone set it free i guess" i laughed
my eyes began to water
"is there anything else?"
"everyone's moving on with their life, i mean you've moved on, doug and carol, even carter has moved on"
"maybe it's time for me to move on somehow"
"i just don't feel like i belong here anymore"
i let out a sigh.
"the er doesn't feel like my home anymore"