if you call for me, i'll run to you | a doug ross fanfiction

99.

99.
loose ends
May 3, 2000

i walked upstairs to the daycare. juliette had a spring cold and i just wasn't in the mood to do much of anything.
i came to the realization that i hated my life. i mean, i loved my job and my daughter but other than that i hated it.
i had no idea a decade ago that i'd be raising a daughter alone. that just made me mad, that and the lack of response from doug.
"juliette" i shushed, she was very upset today.
"page me if she gets too much to handle"

i walked down the halls of the er. carol passed me by.
"happy birthday" i smiled
"aw, thanks"
"any fun plans?"
"luka's gonna cook me dinner" she grinned
"that's exciting"
"yeah, should be fun" she nodded
"anyway, kerry wants me to finish her paramedic report asap"
i rolled my eyes.

and there it was. the horrible sound of kerry's voice.
"y/n, i was looking at our records and you've only seen one or two patients a day"
"kerry" i laughed
"what's up?"
i backed up into the drug lockup.
"i've worked with you for five years, i know something isn't okay lately"
"i haven't been okay for the past year" i smiled
"i bet raising a daughter on your own is tough"
i nodded my head.
"are you in contact with doug?"
"somewhat"
"i've just been thinking" i smiled
"what's really keeping me here?"
i shrugged my shoulders.
"i mean, i love my job but lately things have just been different"
she tilted her head, leaning on the counter "how so?"
"i don't know"
"specific patients, it's just like a sign from god that i need to get out of here"
"and i don't know what's keeping me from that" i smiled
"i don't have family here"
"i have nothing but my baby and myself outside this ER"
"i told myself i'd never let my work become my life"
"it's all i have now"
"pretty sad, huh?" i laughed
"maybe you should take the day off"
i shook my head "i used all my sick days and vacation time"
"i can find some extras for you" she whispered
———
i was dictating old charts in the lounge. kerry told me to go home, but i had so much other work to do. i picked juliette up from daycare and she slept in one of my arms.
"you got a call for you on line one" carol smiled, popping her head in the lounge.
i went to the phone and answered
"hello?"
"y/n" mark said
part of me hoped the voice would've been doug.
"just was calling to let you know my dad died awhile ago"
i raised my eyebrows.
"oh my gosh mark"
"i'm so sorry"
"mhm" he sighed
"i was supposed to go home awhile ago, i can stop by if you want"
"you don't have to do that"
"i'm sure i can help you clean up your house" i laughed

the rest of the evening consisted of me tidying up marks apartment. elizabeth came over soon after my arrival. we sat and did what we did best together, drowned out our sorrows with a drink. in fact, by the end of the night we all were in tears.
i guess it made me feel better about my not - so- good day. all of our not - so- good lives.

a/n: last part will be posted monday!! i can't wait for you all to read it. i want to thank you so much in advanced for reading this story of mine.. it's meant so, so much to me. i also hope you enjoyed this part!
xx