if you call for me, i'll run to you | a doug ross fanfiction

53.

53.
a hole in the heart
May 14, 1998

the smell of rain permeated the chicago air. thick clouds layered the sky.
i arrived in the er at about 4 in the morning. doug performed a secret detox on a baby last night. mark and weaver weren't happy to say the least. it was a quiet night shift. mark asleep in an empty exam room.
i was filling out charts.

it was later that morning, i headed up to where doug's baby was.
doug was sleeping on a rocking chair.
"is he ready to get off the vent yet?" i aksed kit
"i'll give him a couple more minutes"
she pointed to doug.
i wandered over to him, he eventually woke up.
"sorry" i whispered, bending down to his level.
he smiled.
"i heard about what happened last night"
"weaver is livid" i laughed
"who isn't?"
"carol, mark, the whole entire er?" he smiled
"do you think i did. the right thing?"
i let out a sighed
"doug, i know you care about your patients"
"you have a passion for taking care of children"
"you do amazing things okay?"
"but?"
"i'm not saying you could've handled it differently because i think you saved a kid"
i pointed to the baby
i raised an eyebrow "but in secret?"
"i know"
"i hope all goes well with your meetings"
"weaver has been trying to get rid of you forever" i added

"you have the appy?" corday asked
"yes, he's right in here" i lead her to my patient
she continued to do an exam on him
"sure enough"
"i'll take him up to the or" she smiled
the hours passed by fairly quickly.
i walked out to the admit desk, weaver was yelling on the phone
"you know i quit as chief of emergency medicine"
"no one else around here can follow a damn policy"
"i mean doug ross breaks the rules and everyone's fine with that"
she stormed out.
"jesus" i sighed

it was toward the end of my shift now.
doug and mark were fighting outside. there were hardly any patients. i walked over to the waiting area, a man was sitting covered in blood.
"sir?"
"can i help you?"
i walked him to an empty gurney, putting some gloves on.
"what happened to you?"
"the car alarm won't go off, it does that sometimes" he smiled
"that's alright, i'm sure we can get help for you to turn that off"
he started crying, pulling something out of his pocket
"there were no more bullets left" he cried 
a gun in his hand.
i took it out of his hand
"jerry keep this somewhere safe"
"oh my god" i gasped, realizing what had happened
"jeanie, keep an eye on him" i shouted
"and be careful"
i ran out to the ambulance bay, it was pouring rain outside.
my hair and clothes immediately got soaked
"what's going on?" doug shouted
"come now"

the car doors were locked.
"i need to break his open"
mark shattered the window open
"mark, hit the latch"
the car unlocked
"jesus christ" i said
there were two kids and the mother in there, all shot.

moments later, some extra help came. doug and i took the little boy in the backseat. he stabilized his head as i tried to roll him on the backboard
"nice and slow"
we carried him in the trauma room.
"get some o neg on the infuser"
"where's the gun shot?"
"upper chest"
"let's get his clothes off"
"no rhythm"
"starting cpr"
i did compressions on the boys chest

"we'll have to crack him"
"can we set up, i'll need a rib spreader"
"10 blade"
his chest was open.
"y/n i need you to hold onto this"
i placed my finger on the bleeding.
"don't stick me"
doug was trying to get the rhythm back.
"we'll need the paddles"
"start internal compressions"
i massaged the heart, he was still bleeding
"more blood?" lydia asked
i nodded.
"okay, paddles"
"clear"
"one more"
"clear"
"okay we have a rhythm"
i put a drape over his chest
"okay send him to the or, put him on 50 more lidocaine"
"gosh" doug scoffed
"man came in, killed his whole family and ran out of bullets for himself"
"the world is a crazy place"