if you call for me, i'll run to you | a doug ross fanfiction

70.

70.
the storm part two
February 5/6, 1999

i was in and out of consciousness.
and god, my head was throbbing
"y/n, stay with me" doug said, his head was gushing blood.
then the paramedics came around the car. a neck collar wrapped around me.
"it's gonna be okay y/n"
"i love you doug" i whispered
"i love you too baby, stay with me okay?" he nodded
"careful, slow" he added as i got onto the backboard.
i got out of the car and onto the stretcher.
the ambulance ride felt so long. doug squeezed my hand the whole way.

i squinted my eyes, the lights were so bright in the ER. i wanted to close my eyes so badly but i know i couldn't until i got a ct. when we got in the hospital, kerry immediately started yelling at doug.
"kerry, let me stay with her" doug shouted
she pointed her finger in his face "you're not working at this hospital, not tonight"
"now go let carol look at your head"
"peter" she added, still shouting.
benton came over to my gurney, raising his eyebrow.
"y/n?"
i gave him a little smile.
"uhh..alright let's get a c-spine, cbc, chem 7, and head ct"

i didn't need anything but sutures. my head ct came back normal. i had a few broken ribs though. not to mention, benton took forever suturing me up. at least i wouldn't scar badly.
carol came in the room, creaking the door open.
"how're you doing?" she asked
"doug told me about what happened"
"don't drive tonight" i warned
she smiled
"he proposed?" she whispered
"yeah"
"congratulations"
i nodded
"your labs are normal"
"look worse than it is?"
"i'm afraid so"
"thank you carol"
she smiled, nodding her head.

carol took me up to a room upstairs. i fell asleep for awhile up there.
i opened my eyes to doug asleep in a chair.
when i sat up in bed, be opened his eyes.
"thank god you're awake" he whispered
i smiled
"y/n"
the look on his face scared me.
he paused for what felt like forever. i titled my head and looked at him.
"i'm resigning"
my stomach dropped.
"what do you mean?"
"i'm taking up the portland job"
"doug" i said quietly 
"i want you to come with me"
i looked at him blankly. it felt like i was going to pass out.
"i can't"
"why not?"
"doug, i have my whole life here, my job"
he looked down at his lap.
"i know"
there was a pause
"i have nothing left here"
"you have me doug"
he looked back up at me.
"please, y/n"
"i need some time" i said, looking away from him
we were silent
"you're getting discharged soon"
"i know"
"i'll get you some pain medication"
he started walking out of the room
"doug?"
he turned around
"i don't want to wake up alone tomorrow"
tears were now streaming down my cheeks, hitting my hospital gown.
he bent over, placed his hands on my face, and kissed me.
i couldn't do anything but just sit there and look at all his features. from the sutures on his forehead, his brown eyes, the scruffy beard that began to grow on his face and the little grey hairs that began to grow in his eyebrows.
this was the man i loved.
then he walked away.

mark came in the room soon after. i sat in the bed looking at the walls. i couldn't even think straight.
"y/n" he mumbled
i wiped my cheek with my hand "doug's leaving"
"i heard"
"there's no convincing him to stay either"
"are you going?" he asked
"i don't know mark" i smiled
"yesterday i woke up in my own bed and now i'm lying in the hospital, broken ribs and my face all cut up"
"oh, and being involved in a murder case" i laughed
"if you go y/n"
"i might miss you more than doug" he whispered, kissing my forehead
i began getting teary again
"he proposed to me"
mark eyed the ring on my finger.
"when i'm not with him, i feel like there's a piece of me missing"
"he's the only one i want to love"

i got back at my apartment not long ago. it was dark outside now. all i wanted was to be embraced by doug. despite my broken ribs this was another night full of kisses and love. in this moment it dawned on me.. that nothing else's mattered more in the world to me other than doug ross.