if you call for me, i'll run to you | a doug ross fanfiction

58.

58.
vanishing act
October 15, 1998

a few weeks went by. it was finally starting to feel like fall outside. the sidewalks of the city had crumbling leaves blowing by.
i arrived to the er and overheard the new nurse practitioner talking about contraceptives with doug. he was supposed to be off but wanted to work on his peids room.
"why don't you try a diaphragm, those are about 97% effective"
that's when it dawned on me.
"hey doug, can you follow me for a minute?"
we began walking.
"about that"
"what?"
he began getting nervous
"i'm a few days late"
he pulled me into the men's bathroom, closing the door behind us.
"could it be stress?"
the look on his face made me surprised, i mean he was really nervous.
"no, i haven't felt that stressed lately"
"are you eating well?"
"i mean, yeah"
"could it be a false alarm?"
"i don't know"
"jesus christ, y/n"
"i thought we've been careful" he whispered
"stop getting so worked up" i said
"don't i have a right to be nervous?"
"of course, i don't feel pregnant though"
"do you know what that feels like?" he asked
"no"

it was a little later, i walked down the hall
"hey, y/n" carol said
"can you suture this patient of mine?"
"sure carol, just give me a minute"
i had to check the films on one of my patients.
they were normal. although, when i came back carol no longer needed my help.
that's when i began thinking, what if i actually was pregnant. i mean, doug and i weren't even technically dating yet. he meant the world to me, i just didn't want to be pregnant. much like anyone in my position.

"you alright dr. l/n?" lucy asked
"oh, yeah" i said
"just zoning out" i smiled
"can i ask you something?" she asked
"sure"
"dr. carter, i mean he's a great doctor and mentor"
"but?"
"but the truth is, i can't start an iv yet and he thinks i can"
"i've been using the nurses to help me"
"well lucy, i'd definitely tell carter"
"he should understand"
"really?"
"i mean yeah, he's there to teach you and support you"
"don't tell him i told you this but when we was a med student, he didn't know how to start an iv either, he used a patient as a human pin cushion until he got it right"
"it definitely took him awhile"
"all im saying is, don't let him bully you into thinking you're too weak or it's your fault for not telling him"
"it is though"
"partially yes, but it's his job to teach you and you should feel comfortable asking him how to do things"

it was much later. a gsw came in, the same one who needed suturing before.
i put my gloves on.
lucy was having trouble getting the blood gas.
"jesus christ lucy, i'll do it" carol shouted
"can we get two units of o neg in here?" i asked
"come on lucy, you can get this one"
"blood gases are hard to get sometimes"
"i can't, carter" she groaned
here we go..
"lucy come on"
"carter i can't, i haven't been able to start an iv yet"
she stormed out.
"come on people, let's keep working" i shouted

by the time i knew it, my shift was over.
"its so dark out"
"fall is here" doug replied
"heading out?" he asked
"yeah" i smiled
"well, i'll see you back at your place after my shift"
"i'll be waiting for you" i nodded

i came home and changed into a pair of pyjama pants and a long sleeve shirt.
that's when i noticed i started my period. i was so relieved.
as a teenage girl, i always imagined getting married early and having kids at a young age. now, i was in my late twenties, nearly thirty and still didn't have either of those things.
i poured myself a glass of wine and began cooking some dinner.

doug came home soon after and sat on the couch next to me.
he eyed the glass of wine in my hand.
"so, what's in the bag?" i asked
"a pregnancy test"
"my period started" i smiled
"i guess i wasted 17.50"
"save it for next time"
he gave me a weird look.
"i'm kidding, doug"
"are you relieved?"
"yeah, i am"
"it's a good thing, right?" he added
"yeah"
"dinners in the oven" i whispered
we were quiet for a few moments
i saw his adams apple bobble
"y/n" he began
"incase this ever happens again"
he shook his head, smiling.
i turned to look at him
"will you be my girlfriend?"