if you call for me, i'll run to you | a doug ross fanfiction

54.

54.
untitled
June 16, 1998

it was officially summer weather. it was so
hot outside, and of course i was working a double.
"counting down, hey?" doug asked
ever since delamico left, everyone had been working more often.
"sure am" i smiled
doug had been really friendly to me lately. he made sure that he was always scheduled to work with me, and he made sure to get in on traumas with me. i remember when he only ever did paediatric traumas. if your patient was dying and you needed help he wouldn't join in on it, just because the patient was over 18. it was kind of weirding me out. i knew he definitely wanted something from me. speaking about doug, his whole ordeal with the secret detox wasn't resolved with weaver yet. they still hadn't come to a conclusion i guess. i mean, it looked pretty certain to me. doug was still working in this hospital, i mean.

"please help me doctor" a woman said, holding a bag of ice in her hand
"randy what's open?"
"curtain one"
i out one arm around her, guiding her to the gurney.
"what happened?"
"i was doing the dishes and my son sliced his finger on the mandolin"
"that'll do it"
"i'm dr. l/n"
"lydia can we start a chart for them?"
she nodded
"what's his name?"
"johnny barone"
"well mrs. barone i'll have you fill out this chart while i take a look at this finger"
"do you want a suture kit?" lydia asked
"please, lidocaine too"
"alright johnny, i'm gonna take a look at your finger"
i unwrapped the towel
the tip of his finger was off
i looked at the tip on the ice, unfortunately i don't think it would be able to get back on.
lydia came back with the suture kit.
"is there a surgeon covering the er?"
"romano"
"alright, get him over here" i groaned
"you needed a surgeon?"
"yes" i nodded
"ahh, dr. l/n, haven't seen you in awhile" romano smiled
"nice to see you too, dr: romano"
"i have a little boy in there, the tip of his finger got sliced off"
"any good?"
"looks like a chainsaw took it off"
"thanks for the consult" i sighed
i sat back down with the patient
"alright, unfortunately it doesn't seem like we can put the tip of his finger back on"
"why?"
"well, when it was cut off it wasn't a clean enough cut"
"and so it won't be able to be surgically be repaired either"
"fortunately, there's enough skin left on the finger so i'll be able to suture it together"
"phew"
"it's no worries, i see a lot of these"
"alright johnny, this is gonna numb your finger okay, you're not scared of needles are you?"
"no!" he laughed

it was later, i finished suturing the boy.
"alright, you're good to go tough guy"
"thank you so much dr. l/n"
"anytime mrs barone" i smiled

i looked out the window, the sun was just setting.
my shift ended and i began heading home.
"y/n?" i heard a voice say behind me, making me turn around.
i nodded, it was doug.
he always seemed to find me when i was just taking breathers.
"i'm sorry" he said after a couple of minutes.
he stood in front of me now, one of his hands leaned on the gurney i was sitting on.
here we go..
"carol and i ended it off weeks ago"
he paused
"back when we broke it off, i wasn't in the right head space and i know that's no excuse but how i treated you was wrong and what i did after was also wrong"
"i've changed as a person and i want to prove that to you"
"when i was with carol, you know, she made me happy but i didn't love her like i love you"
i took a deep breath
"that was selfish to her and it was to you too"
i looked at him, tilting my head.
"listen, if mark would've told me how you felt about me sooner-"
"y/n" he cut himself off
"it may have taken me a little bit to realize but i want to be with you"
"i want to grow old with you"
that smirk was now on his face.
"i want to start a family with you"
"doug"
"y/n"
"carol talked to you?"
"yeah, awhile back"
we put his hands out, waiting for a reply
"i didn't like the way we ended"
"it didn't feel like us"
"i don't want to feel like i'm ruining something between you and carol"
he shook his head
"you already know what i want" i said, looking at my lap.
"i was in a bad place, doug"
"i promise i'll never make you feel that way again"
we looked at each other for awhile.
"god" i groaned, moving closer to him. he pressed his lips against mine.

part of me felt weird for letting him back in my life. nobody else's opinion mattered though. this is what i wanted, and had wanted for a long time.
part of me felt wrong for following him to the l, to here..
i spent only a couple minutes in doug's apartment and we were already back where we all started. i pressed my lips into his neck and he ran a hand through my hair.
for months all i wanted was to be embraced by this familiarity. all i wanted was him.