if you call for me, i'll run to you | a doug ross fanfiction

69.

69.
the storm (part one)
February 5, 1999

i woke up to my pager beeping, doug had left a long time ago. he left at about five in the morning to go check on ricky.
i quickly got dressed in scrub pants and a long sleeve shirt. i threw my coat on and headed out the door.

"it's so slippery out there" i laughed
everyone was silent as i walked in the door.
"what's going on?" i asked malik. the nurses were always nice to me, but now they were all avoiding me.
"police are here"
"why?" i asked, beginning to get nervous
"doug's being accused of murder"
"you're kidding"
"wish i was"
carter gave me a weird look.
"what?"
he raised his eyebrows
"guys, i didn't murder a child"
"from what i heard-"
"y/n, id like to speak to you" mark said
oh boy he was angry.
we headed in the lounge.
"what the hell were you thinking?" he yelled
"what?"
"you ordered an iv for ricky abbott?"
"mark" i sighed
he clenched his teeth together.
"don't do this, y/n"
i have him a serious look "the kid was in severe pain"
"we're suspending you and doug"
"there she is, been waiting for the star of the show" romano laughed
"i used to think you were the only one in here who had a brain"
"guess i was wrong" he cackled
"the investigator will want to talk to you" mark added
i walked out.
jesus christ.
"where's doug?" i asked carol
"y/n"
"im so sorry"
"no, i am carol" i reassured
"i think he's in peids"

i walked in the room.
doug smiled.
"what the hell's going on?"
"ricky died earlier, the father flew in and is accusing me of murder"
"how're you doing?"
"you're the first to ask me that" he smiled
"i'm sorry y/n"
he continued filling in charts.
"doug, don't be"
"i'm the one who helped you"
"i could've stopped you" he whispered
the detective walked in.
"dr. ross"
doug turned his head
"is this dr. l/n?"
he nodded
"what do you say, you two meet me in room 117 in five?"
"okay"
i smiled at him.
he stood up and put his forehead against mine.
"it's gonna be okay" he whispered

"why did you do it?" the investigator asked
"you know, i've seen so many kids come in"
"gun shot wounds, cancer,"
"this kid broke my heart" i shrugged
"i wanted to do everything i could to save him"
"it's what his mother wanted"
"is it correct that the PA only givess out a safe dose?"
"that's correct"
"then why did dr. ross give a lethal dose?"
"what?"
"that would take a key or code right?"
"yes" i nodded
i shook my head "i'm sorry, i wasn't made aware of that"

doug stood outside, it was already dark out. i guess, a day goes by quickly when all you're doing is talking to police and trying to convince your coworkers you're a decent person.
"you gave ricky a lethal dose of morphine?" i said, slightly angry.
"y/n"
"doug, when we're you gonna tell me this?"
"were you gonna?" i added
"i dont know" he whispered
"you don't know?" i scoffed
i was pretty mad now.
i shook my head "i'm suspended"
"i'm sorry y/n"
"you always are doug" i said, softly.
"don't walk away from me" he shouted

there was nothing much to do at the hospital. i overheard carol yelling at doug earlier. i had cooled off though. i was mad, but it was a matter of moving forward now.
i was walking home until i saw doug looking over to the lake.
"still mad at me" he asked
"i'll get over it" i sighed
he smiled
we were silent for awhile. doug looked at the lake and I looked at him.
"y/n"
"hm?"
"i was waiting for a good time to do this"
"but between our fighting and everything going on, i just haven't found a time" he smiled
"doug" i groaned
i had a feeling about what was happening next.
doug reached in his pocket.
"i want you to marry me, y/n"
he pulled out a ring.
"oh my god" i whispered
"doug" i frowned
"y/n" he smirked
as i was silent, he looked at the ground.
"do you want to marry me?" he asked again, now in a harsher tone.
"forget about anything or anyone else"
tears began to rush to the surface.
i nodded
"of course" i whispered
the smiled, slipping a gold ring on my finger, an oval diamond on it.
"i hate you" i said, looking down at my hand.
"i know" he smiled, wiping the tears from my face.

doug drove me home and i couldn't stop staring at the ring. i couldn't believe it. this was something that felt right for the first time in awhile.
the snowfall from the other night made the roads slippery. doug turned a corner and we drifted.
"jesus" he scoffed
then we slipped down the road. doug took his foot and slammed it on the breaks. i think it was too late though. the last thing i remember was us crashing.