if you call for me, i'll run to you | a doug ross fanfiction

100.

100.
such sweet sorrow
May 9, 2000

i was awake all night with juliette.
my guess was that she was teething. i had a jar of baby food i was feeding her, she sat in her baby carrier on the kitchen table.
"come on honey, please eat"
she was not having it.
she didn't even want to be in her baby carrier either.
"jesus christ" i muttered, pulling a black tank top over my head.
since i was up early this morning, i had time to wash and blowout my hair.
i slid on my shoes and threw on my leather coat. picking up juliette in one arm.

"mark" i smiled, putting on my lab coat.
"how've you been?" i asked
he shrugged his shoulders.
"thanks for coming over the other night"
"please, it was the least i could do"
he was silent.
"rachel's staying with you?"
"yeah, its nice for a change" he nodded
kerry walked into the lounge.
"y/n" she said
"you're late"
"i had to bring juliette up to daycare"
"it looks like your chatting with mark"
"it's about personal matters" i said in an assertive tone.
she slammed the door.
i rolled my eyes "she's not in a good mood"
"you're acting like she ever is" mark laughed
"how've you been?" mark asked, we began walking out of the lounge
"i've been up all night"
"baby's teething?"
"yeah" i sighed
i pointed to the desk clerk with a confused look on my face.
"that's frank"
"nice to meet you, frank" i smiled
"what doctor are you?"
"dr. l/n"
"we got a dizzy lady for you in exam two"
i tilted my head "thanks?"

"mrs. o'connell?"
the lady nodded.
"you've been complaining of dizziness?"
"yes"
"i'm just gonna take a listen you your chest"
i listened to her breath sounds.
chuny looked over to me.
"okay, let's get her an EKG and a CBC"
"and start her on a drip too"
"sure thing" chuny smiled
——
it was later that afternoon, i was sitting at the admit desk doing a few old charts.
luka came up behind me.
"is carol not here today?" i asked him
"she had a late shift last night"
"not usual for her"
he rubbed his eye "i know, she was here all night"
"haleh's covering for her"
i nodded my head, scribbling into a chart.
"CBCs are back on that patient"
"iron?"
chuny nodded.
i walked back to the exam room with the lab work in my one hand.
"your tests are back from the lab" i smiled
"it shows that you're a little iron deficient"
"what's that mean?"
"it's completely normal"
"the iron in your blood is low which sometimes makes people dizzy or even pass out"
i smiled "luckily it's easily treated"
"i'm gonna write you a perception for some iron pills you can take once a day to help"
i began writing the prescription
"here's your prescription" i smiled, handing her the slip of paper.
"thank you dr. l/n"
i nodded
i was passing through the trauma rooms.
"do you know where the nurse is?" a man asked me, he was sitting beside a gurney.
"i'm not sure but i can find one for you" i smiled
"is there anything i can help you with?"
"it's alright" he smiled
"this is your wife?"
he nodded
from the looks of it, she had end stage cancer.
"you know i feel bad about her and i"
"why's that?"
"when she was sick i spent most of my time travelling for work"
"i regret that now"
"i guess i just feel like a coward for not going back to my family"
"i miss seeing her gorgeous smile"
"and i don't know why i kept travelling"
"i feel selfish" he smiled, a tear falling down his face.
i tilted my head.
"i'm sorry" i whispered

after comforting him, i walked down the hallway.
"you got a call about a half hour ago" frank said
"from who?"
"a dr. doug ross?"
my eyes went wide "oh my god"
"why didn't you come get me?" i asked
"you were busy" frank said, defensively.
"he left a message"
frank handed me a piece of paper.
15011 north east kenmore it read.
he tilted his head "call came from washington?"
"that's right" i nodded, grinning
my heart dropped to the floor.
"did he say anything else?"
frank shook his head.
for awhile i've been trying to build up the courage to just go see doug. but, when you know, know, you'll know. and i knew.
i knew that i needed to be with him.
i stuck the piece of paper in my pocket, walking down the hall.
my heart was racing, yet i felt so good.
"luka, can you take over for me" i smiled, handing him one of my charts
"are you okay?" he asked
"i gotta go" i smiled, nodding.
i ran into the lounge and threw my lab coat in my locker, putting on my leather coat.
"where's mark?" i asked abby, she pointed down the hall, confused.
"mark" i shouted
he raised his eyebrows "is everything okay?"
i nodded "i gotta go"
"go where?"
"tell kerry i won't be in for the next few days"
"i'll call you on the plane" i added
"the plane?" he asked, i began walking away.
"i gotta go see doug"
"you're coming back though, right?"
"mark i promise i'll come back, okay?"
"i just need a couple days to straighten some things out"
"call me"
"thank you mark, for everything" i smiled, a tear fell down from both of my eyes, i wiped them away.
"you're coming back" he whispered, planting a kiss on my head
"yes" i muttered.

i ran into my apartment and stuck juliette in her baby carrier. i threw her diaper bag and a couple changes of her and my clothes into a duffel bag.
i was off.
i'd never thought i'd be running through an airport. it was like i was in a movie.
i tapped on the desk of the airline three times.
"seattle?" i asked. 
"terminal three" a lady pointed.
"hurry, they're boarding" she shouted as i ran toward the terminal.
i handed the attendant outside the gate my ticket.
"hurry, they're about take off"
"thank you" i smiled
"have a good flight" she shouted
all out of breath, i made it in the plane. 
"you almost missed the flight" a lady said next to me.
"yeah" i sighed, sitting juliette on my lap.
"yeah, we did"
during the plane ride i talked to mark and told him about my patients, my thoughts lately too i guess.
i reassured him that i'd come back and tell him more once i knew what i even was doing.
i mean, i was nervous. what if doug didn't even actually love me anymore?
would open arms really still await me in seattle? i don't know.
———
a couple hours later i got off the plane.
i thought it was just easier to rent a car for the meantime.
i mean, there's no l trains in seattle. i hadn't driven since i was in my early twenties anyways.
it felt so weird being on the road again. but, as soon as i got closer and closer to doug's house, the more nervous i got.
i don't even know why.
all of this was just so unfamiliar to me. i hardly even remember what doug looked or smelt like anymore.
i pulled up in the driveway and got out of the car. i left juliette in the car with my luggage.
i wanted to make sure i was actually at the right place.
it took me a couple minutes to knock on the door though. there was no answer anyways.
the house was gorgeous. it was grey and white, sat right on the lake.
i walked around to the back of the house. i saw doug. he was bent down and grabbing something out of a boat of his.
i stood by a big tree and waited for him to look up. when he did, he lifted his head up and stepped toward me. a big smile was plastered on his face. a big smile plastered on my face, too.
"where's juliette?" he asked
i couldn't stop smiling at him.
"she's in the car"
"it's beautiful here, doug"
i opened my mouth to say something else but nothing came out. instead, he put his hands on my face and gave me a big kiss i put my hands on his neck, kissing him more.
then, he picked me up and spun me around. i wanted nothing but to just stand there and be with him.

you know, throughout the years, i've had a lot of time to reflect on my life.
a year ago, i never knew what i'd do.
i felt hopeless, scared, angry, i felt everything. i never wanted my daughter to grow up without a father in her life but i didn't want that to be the reason doug came back for me.
i knew i'd never love a person like i love him though. whenever i was away from doug, i was lost. and if you'd ask me almost eight years ago if douglas ross would be the one i'd settle with, or have a child with, or be lost over, i'd call you crazy.
however, this was the first time in a year where i didn't feel anything. i didn't feel like lashing out at someone, i didn't feel like crying, i didn't feel like disappearing. i felt at peace.
it brought me comfort knowing that everything was gonna be okay. any worry i had before this moment was gone. i felt at home.
doug ross is my home.

a/n: i'm getting so emotional right now because i literally cannot believe we are done here. if you call for me, i'll run to you, is done. i hope you enjoyed and i want to say much more. but, i will have a full thank you coming out tomorrow around the same time.. i will also have bonus one-shots coming out friday (i'm hoping) thank you all for this.
xx