if you call for me, i'll run to you | a doug ross fanfiction

52.

52.
of past regret and future fear
April 30, 1998

sunday afternoon.
i'd been working for hours. i'd just discharged a patient when mark approached me.
"i'm heading off"
"i have a patient, severe chemical burns"
"i can take care of him" i offered
"it's only a matter of hours now, carols looking after him"
"have a good day mark"
"thanks, y/n"
i headed over to the trauma room, carol was with him.
"taking over?" she asked
i nodded
"hi doc" the patient said
"hey"
"dr. l/n?" he read my id
i nodded, smiling.
"it doesn't feel like i'm dying" he laughed
"it's the pain medication, let me know if you need more" carol said

"your labs came back, they were normal"
"thank god" the patient sighed
"it's just a rash so i'll prescribe you with some hydrocortisone cream to clear it up"
"thank you so much" he said
"it's no problem"
i handed the prescription to him.

i was suturing a drunk guys ankle
"connie can we get a banana bag in here?"
"i'm on it"
i heard two nurses talking about me the next curtain over.
"someone else better take over that case or something will happen between them"
"i always knew something was up"
"dr. l/n has a mean side to her"
"you bet"
"heard she got two nurses fired upstairs"
i laughed to myself, tying another suture.

it was much later in the day, nighttime now. i went and checked on my burn patient.
"how much longer doc?"
"it's hard to say"
"please tell me"
"not long now" i said quietly
he nodded
"can i get you anything for the pain?"
"no it's alright"

i passed by an exam room, a baby was laying on the gurney alone.
he was crying so i picked him up and cradled him.
"shh" i hushed, bouncing him.
"connie who's patient is this?"
"ross"
"can you find him for me?"
she left.
the baby had a fever.
doug came in the room
"the he has a fever"
"his mother is a heroin addict, made her child addicted to methadone"
"he's in withdrawal"
"god" i scoffed
"the mother split too?"
"well, that was expected" he sighed

it was the end of my shift.
"i thought you were off?" carol asked
i went and checked on my burn patient again
"thought i'd stick around"
"do you want me to read the letter to you?" carol asked the patient.
he nodded.
she read the letter and eventually started tearing up.
i knew this case hit a little close to carol. the patient wanted to see her daughter. carols father passed when she was little.
the letter was the patient apologizing to his daughter, molly.
a couple minutes later he passed away.
"i'll get the death kit" carol whispered.

it was a little later, i was heading off.
"y/n, wait"
i turned around.
"you alright in there?" i asked
"oh yeah, hit a little close but it's all fine"
"i just wanted to talk to you"
carol walked beside me
"what is it?"
"doug and i have been separated for awhile and i just wanted to let you know that our little thing we had wasn't that serious"
"i think he really likes you"
"i don't know if doug ever loved me, he always had you on his mind and our relationship or whatever you wanted to call that wasn't like it once was" she said, tilting her head.
"i made a bad decision back in the winter, i kissed that paramedic and ever since then our downfall had been quicker i guess"
"maybe for the better"
i was silent
"i just wanted to let you know because if you ever get back together, i won't be mad"
"thanks carol" i smiled
"you know, i really wish the best for you, i hope someone comes into your life who you can settle with" i added
"i've been wishing that for years" she laughed
"i don't know if doug ross was ever going to be that" she reassured
"i was gonna be the one he was going to settle with but not the one he actually wanted"
"you ended it because of me?"
"no"
"you two are meant to be together"
a few silent moments passed
"contrary to what the er staff thinks, i never hated you carol, in fact i've always admired you"
she smiled.
"i didn't think you hated me"
"anyways, you heading off?" she added
"yeah"
"me too"
"goodnight carol" i smiled
"goodnight y/n" she smiled.

a/n: halfway there, folks. i'm hoping this story will be fully published by november.. i think i'm also going to be posting every monday and thursday now. (because i'm nearly done weriting ny next project &my apologies, i know it's tuesday today). hope you enjoyed!