One of the things I'd like to do is include readers thoughts and advice on different topics. I am so inspired that one person (side eye) could bring us all together and it ends up being this place of love and celebration of black girlhood!
I am so excited to share brittmonae 's wonderful piece. I probably cried a million times reading it. I hope it helps you as much as it did me. And if you ever want to write advice hit me up or if you need advice hit me up as well.
Make sure y'all read, comment and show Britt love!!
Sister to Sister
Is it because when I walk I don't sway my hips. Is it because when I speak I don't use slang or Ebonics, is that why I make you uncomfortable?
Because I'm not what you're used to. Are you afraid of the unknown because you think it's not right or are you afraid that it just may be right but you are much too cowardly step out of the box that has confined you all of your life.
You say I'm not good enough because I don't look like the girls on the tv, because I'm not easy and I don't value materialistic things.
But dare to be different. I dare you to step out of that box and let the ropes and the chains of bondage release you so that maybe you will see the true beauty in me.
It is true, I am none of these things and I am proud. I stepped out of my comfort zone and allowed God to show me a different way of living. He showed me that I don't have to be like them to succeed in this world. He told me I don't have to switch my hips or dress vulgar to be seen. He said I am his and it is not by the way that I look that people will see who I truly am. He said when I open my mouth they will know who I belong to.
He said that if I just stand on his word he will open up doors every time. He said let me make you, let me mold you into a woman of standards. A woman of morals, a woman of value. You don't have to be like them because that's not who I made you to be, for you are apart of me. And make no mistake, my creator makes no mistakes.
He said I wish you could see what I see. You are gold, you are a diamond and when I look at you it is my son I see. Not the beauty or the standards that have been set aside for tv. Not the money or labels that this world has fallen victim to.
He said let me remake you. Just love me and I'll show you how to love you. I'll show you that there is a way and I will always provide that way.
My sister,
I know what's it's like to yearn for acceptance. I want you to know that it's ok to wait. I want you to know that you don't have to do what everyone else is doing.
You have to live life for yourself because nobody is going to live it for you.
It's ok to make mistakes but in everything that you do, you want it to be your own decision coming from your own heart because the people around you don't have to live with your actions. They don't have to live with your pain, your mistakes and maybe even your regrets. I need you to know that it's ok to be different and step away from the crowd. It's ok to say no because everyday that you wake up and look in the mirror, you have to love the image looking back at you.
You have to live with what you do and you have to live with all of the choices that you have made in life because they stick with you forever.
True women aren't appreciated enough these days but we need more girls to stand up and defy the classifications that society have put upon us. We need women who are proud to say that they can be themselves with no shame because they love who they are.
We need women who aren't afraid to say they said no to sex, that they waited and never lowered their standards so that the upcoming generation have a true example to follow.
I was a girl growing up who felt like I needed to look like this, act like that and perform certain actions to get the love and affection that we as humans naturally yearn. Let me tell you, that was a lie and I am tried and true. The greatest thing I've learned on my conquest of trying to find and keep love is quite simple.
It doesn't matter what you do, how much you do it or how much of yourself you give, you simply cannot please everybody. Women we are more powerful than they want us to believe and you have to maintain confidence in yourself. What's for you is for you. You don't have to sell yourself short or even spread your legs at all because what's for you is going to always be for you. And nobody or nothing can change that.
To my sisters out here dealing with men a little more seasoned than you, be careful. They don't come with a warning label but they do come with a bag of sweet lines, smiles and a world full of surprises. Men try to take advantage of women younger than them or less experienced. They try to exploit your innocence for their own benefit because they think you haven't lived enough to have the wisdom to see them for what they are.
I know it seems like everybody in the world is engaging in it but there are still some left that have stayed true to themselves. You have got to be the light that shines through the darkness.
Now in this division and deception of what beauty is, satan accomplishes many things. Two of the main things are to make one feel inferior and the other superior. By not being socially accepted you fall victim to the lies of your identity and who you are. That allows those doors to open and him to come in and whisper the lies of his own. To make you feel inferior and less than. To trigger self esteem problems creates a nation of young women longing to be accepted, searching for love from everyone but the almighty.
You begin to try to fill that void in which only God can fill by man. You fall into the lies and you become lost, you began to do anything to feel pretty. Be not conformed to the ways of the world. You are not the inches of your hair or the size or your hips or the complexion of your skin. You are saddened by the rejection of this boy but "count it all joy".
For every evil thing that the enemy has set up against you, by the time it reaches you it is filled with love. See Gods ways are not our own. Every choice you make, everything that comes against, through Gods love, he's going to turn it into good.
You cry because you were rejected by a boy but baby count it all joy. For the King of Kings chose you and there is no greater love than that.
You are a diamond and you have to believe it for yourself. You have to love yourself and everything else will fall into place.
