Hey guys please make a promise to tell me when you lose interest in this book. I want you to get the most out of the experience. This book is not about getting votes or likes, but when some of my regulars stop responding I do get concerned.
Anyway this ones from @brown_eyes02
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Sooooo 🙄 I'm torn in between two guys that I love so very much. 😔 Right now I'm having my cake and eating it too but I know that sooner or later I'll have to chose......., and that is not what I want to do.
So one of the guys is my ex-boyfriend, and when I say he has put me through hell and back 🙄 that's an understatement, but I still love him doe, a lot, maybe to much. We've known each other for 3+ years and we dated for eight months and then around the same time I found out that my grandpa died I found out he was cheating on me. I was heart broken 😔😩 He was my first love and I was head over hills in love with him ( I still am). But anyways he was cheating and I was sad.... But even after that we where still friends or whatever and then about 4 months later I gave him another chance and we got back together....... A month later I'm scrolling down my Instagram timeline and see a flipagram of him and someone with their 6 month anniversary 🙄😕.... Imagine my surprise! Like he had played me a second time, and again I was freaking heartbroken..... But even after that I gave him another chance. 😔 I let him back in and we've been friends.... The type of friends who act like their together but they don't have a title......... Yeaaaaah that was us and that's still us. Like we say I love you to each other and do couple type shit.... Here's the thing though. Several of relationships that I have been in have been ruined because I refuse to stop talkin to him. I can't and I won't. 🙄😩 here's another thing doe..... The one that hurt me the most 😔 back in August there was an altercation on Instagram. Soooo his ex girl and me where going back and forth and you know what? It's like he basically chose her over me. He told me I was childish asf and that was his female and yes he had sex with her blah blah blah..... And when he said he had sex with her that just broke my little heart into a million pieces. We promised each other that we would lose our virginities to each other when I was ready to go that far..... He eventually told me that he had sex with 6 different females 🙄🖕🏽. So I'm sittin here thinkin.. Does he love her more than me ? Is this the same person I talk to everyday? What Tf is wrong with him....?? And what makes the situation worse is that the same girl he checked me over was the same one he cheated on me with the second time. 😕 And even after all of this I don't wanna let him go. He's done the most foulest shit to me and that was just some of it. I love him doe sooooo soooo soooo sooooo soooo much❣too much. Another thing, which is why I'm here. We haven't went out in a while like I said we where friends who acted like a couple...... Soooo recently on my birthday he told me he love me and his life was incomplete without me..... And I'm just like hmmmm. So why aren't we together? And he's like Go out with me. Now, I'm just all confused because he told me he didn't want a relationship he just wanted to thot around or whatever..... So I moved on and that's where the second guy comes in.
Soooo right now I am currently in a relationship 😔 and I still talk to my ex as if we where together. But the guy I'm in a relationship with is the sweetest most caring person I know.... He's much different from my ex! I love him a lot ☺️ . You know like that's my baby 👐🏾.... Buuuut there's this one problem... I'm kinda sorta cheating on him. I told him that I still had feelings for my ex and we talked and he was understandable. Like I said I talk to my ex and we act like a couple. So I was telling him that I still talked to him and he asked me did I love my ex more than I loved him..... I told him I didn't know but the truth is I do..... I don't wanna let my boyfriend go. Not at all, but I don't wanna let my ex go. He was my first love. How do you let that go? I don't just love him. I'm in love with him. 😔😭 Even after he played me and lied to me and did other stuff.
I don't know what to do..
