Another anon submission guys
Hey Des. I've been wanting to do one of these for awhile but I've been busy af between track and school.
Buttttttt things this month are in need of a sister submission so here goes.
So there's this fine ass relatively popular guy that I've been talking to since September. Mhm, heard it right five months fam. He was in detention school from early November which overlapped into second semester so I didn't see him for about 2 months.
He's not like how people depict him or say about him. He's really sweet and is extremely smart. Well not book smart but he's intellectual he can talk about his views on life for hours on end. He knows a lot about the buisness and finance world and even does stocks for fun. (!!) keep in mind we're freshman in high school. 😂 he's the first person to genuinely tell me I'm beautiful and uplifts me a lot. I have a bad tendency to downgrade myself when I'm praised for something like my academics and sports. He's actua the one that pointed it out to me.
Over christmas break we'd talk on the phone till about 4 or 5 in the morning. Until our voices are all soft and sleepy and the words are more genuine. I'm the only female he's ever opened up to so he considers me as a close person to him. I don't open up either but something about him made me. We connected on this mental level that has stood strong.
He's told me he trusts me 100% while I'm still trying to get there with the trust issues I have. For him itd impossible to lie to me even over call or text.
So as of January, he actually wasn't supposed to come back to our school because he was expelled. But the school can't make up their minds for shit and he showed up the friday we got back for 2nd semester. I remember walking out to the buses and he slick put his arm around me. I was looking down at something and i thought it was one of my friends until i looked up. Lord i squeezed the life out of him.
So yeah since then we've been like an unoffical couple, I could see the way he looks at me from afar. There's a certain look in his eyes that has no trace of lust but something else I can't describe. Whenever he's talking to his friends (he's too gahdamn popular) I catch him glancing at me. I don't know what to call it but it's like this helpless, lost, amazed, puppy look.
So that weekend he got back we got into a fight over text 😐. It was in the middle of the night and i was running on 3 hours of sleep. He was trying to tell me something while beating around the bush and I unintentionally cut him off saying i was going to bed and he blew up.
The next morning I re read over everything and figure out he was talking about us becoming offical😑
I guess we never fully recovered from that. I told him we needed to talk but every time he did his attention will get taken away by ine of his niggas.
I noticed something else. He's like two different people with me and the others. Whenever he's around me I can physically see him relax into himself, the one I know. He seems more comfortable. But as soon as I leave the scene, he hardens up into this hard ass nigga that everyone knows him as. He's involved in that other lifestyle (if you know what I mean)
The nigga that everyone knows him for is foreign to me. He's extremely closed off and its like he doesn't have feelings. This is why everyone thinks he's a fuckboy bc the people he hangs with. The nigga I know is a complete opposite almost like he's vunerable to me in some sort because I know him best.
Not to base things off of zodiacs but he's a true definition of a Gemini (which is his sign)😑😑
So recently I haven't been able to talk to him as much because he's always distracted and our schedules barley meet up.
So then step another female into the picture. Not to seem egotistical but she's honestly a downgrade. I'm in honors classes, I run track (body A1 👌) I'm polite and social and nice to everyone. And I have morals.
She's in on level classes, she's all over a lot of guys and wears tight shirts with he pudgy belly hanging out 😷. She gives off this hoeish, ghetto vibe that rubs me the wrong way. And my vibes are rarley wrong my friends.
So this nigga gone wanna be offical I'm like "Okay bet." Friday I see them caked tf up. Their dating after what two weeks of talking?😑😑
Instead of becoming heartbroken I actually soared into this good ass mood. People tell me I have this alter ego that dgaf about anyone or anything. Its a side of me that's crazy, wild, petty, funny and extremely blunt. I was smiling and laughing the whole day about it.
And people ask why I'm so coldhearted because fuck people like him. I honestly haven't felt any pain or sadness because as a Libra, I can easily detach myself from any situation.
But the thing is I can still feel our connection and I don't want to. The way he is around her is the way he his around everyone else at school. Which is not the real him. Something isn't clicking at all. Just on Tuesday he had his arm around my waist and she was all over this sophmore. Nothing makes sense.
I peeped the way he treats her, he's not really paying attention and whenever we pass by each other he avoids looking at me.
But let these games begin he's starting track on Tuesday. The sophomore she was all over runs too. Along with ole dude best friend AND a boy who's tryna talk to me. They all gone be at practice with the girls. We practice separately bur share a track and everything so we always mingling.
My question is what tf is going on? What do y'all think about this any advice on what I should do? Nothing is matching up.
Its gotten to the point where I can think about it and just laugh evily bc of the amount of pettyness I contain. This why I rarely trust people or catch feelings ✌
But I need other views on this. Help?????
