I've been thinking... (idk, maybe Mithross?)

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This is kind of a vent one shot, so sorry it's not technically any ship. I just- came up with the idea and decided to share. Hope you enjoy.

A boy lay tired in his bed, back to a door of an apartment he shared with two others.
"Hey Max?" A bedroom door opens, a brunette standing in a doorway.
"This better be important, Ross. I'm trying to sleep." A ginger turned in his bed to face a brunette.
"Well, it's just I've been thinking." A brunette turns away, embarrassed slightly.
"Ha, this'll be good. Come 'ere, lay down. This'll take a while I assume?" A ginger pats on a spot in bed beside him.
"Yeah, I guess so." A brunette lays down, arms crossed behind his head as he stared at a ceiling.
"Relax a little, you always get so tensed up whenever this happens. I'm not going to judge you dude, well any more than I normally do." A ginger gets comfortable in his position in bed, facing a brunette.
"Well, where do I start?" A brunette stares off at a black ceiling, dotted with glowing stars.
"The beginning." A ginger stares attentively at a brunette.
"Your sarcasm is not helping." A brunette glares at a ginger.
"From the beginning of your thoughts, ya doof. I was trying to be helpful- ish." A ginger tries to hide his stare.
"Alright. So you know that date that for the longest time I had written, like, everywhere? The day I had always said was the happiest day of my life?" A brunette stares longingly at the sparkling ceiling.
"Yeah, you never told me what it was. And then one day you just erased it from everything, and I never had the heart to bring it up." A ginger watches as a brunette's face contorts with memories, presumably bad ones.
"Yeah, you wanna know what it was? And before you answer, that was a rhetorical question." A brunette quickly glares at a ginger, whose mouth was open to speak. "I'm telling you either way." A ginger shut his mouth again. "It was what would be the happiest day of my life. It was the first, and last, time I agreed to be someone's boyfriend." A brunette looked sadly up at a ceiling. "I was so careful up to that point, I was so so careful. And I broke down my walls once. I let one person in. And for months, they were so nice. They were sweet, caring, and they always promised me they loved me. Do you wanna know what love really is, Max?" A ginger stared sadly at a brunette, phantom tears collect in another's eyes. "It's just a large cycle of mistakes and regrets that people keep repeating over and over again, hoping at some point they'll run into their perfect lover. Someone they can withstand forever, someone who won't make them regret what they've done for them, who won't make them regret falling in love." A brunette paused, swallowing a growing lump in his throat. "But the happiness never lasts as long as we wish, and then our mistakes and regrets catch up with us. That's when we fall apart, find our hearts broken and crumbling in our chests. Heartbreak isn't because we're losing someone we depended on, it's because your brain is finally realizing it made the same mistakes as it had before, the mistakes it constantly warned itself about. But it still thought this time was an exception. That this time was different. And it'll never be different. You'll forever be stuck in that same painful cycle until you die. Which brought me to the next thing, life. What's this all for? Why do we even try when we know we'll just end up dying anyway?" A brunette sighed. "Well I think I've figured it out. You ready for this?" A brunette looked towards a ginger, exhaustion clear in his eyes.
"Sure Ross. But after that I get to ask questions." A ginger agreed, nervously.
"Sounds good to me." A brunette stares at a ceiling above him. "If all these different religions are right, that their is some sort of all-powering being controlling our lives, then doesn't that simply make us their puppet? Aren't we, then, just toys to them? Like dolls, but we speak and eat and cry. We are their living dolls, just to entertain their bored mind. And so, they control everything we do. They control our beliefs, our sexualities, our thoughts, our emotions, our everything. So the suicidal are suicidal because this being chose them to be. The depressed are his choice. The bullied are bullied for their own damn amusement. Rape is its choice. Pain is its choice. Murder is its choice. Suicide is its choice. Death is its choice. What sort of monster does that? Goes out of his way to make sure all of his toys suffer? Why are we poor if they  could make us all rich? Why is their war if they could make us all love? They choose what happens, and yet they don't spare a single soul. They must not like us being happy, at all. With all the hell they've brought down upon us." A brunette took a few minutes to compose himself. Deep breathing filled a room as a ginger drew small shapes on a stomach, exposed by a raised shirt. "Alright, now your questions." A brunette rolled on his side, now facing a ginger laying beside him.
"Have you ever wanted to kill yourself Ross?" A ginger looked carefully, watching every response of a broken boy beside him.
"Sure, I mean. Haven't you at some points?" A brunette's eyes became confused.
"No, I mean more than you should. Like, almost constantly." A ginger knew what could result, but continued.
"Not really, have you?" A brunette became conscientious of an implication.
"No. I was just- concerned. You sure talk like someone who would, especially on nights like this." A ginger felt himself reeling backwards, wanting to undo a previous notion.
"Is that bad?" A brunette was suddenly self-conscious as his mind tried to connect dots.
"Well, no. As long as you don't ever hurt yourself. Now next question: why don't you believe that maybe one day the cycle of hurting in love will end?" A ginger felt his hand moving to grasp a hand of a brunette lying towards him.
"Has it ever for anyone?" A ginger stopped himself.
"Adam and Alesea are happy together. So are Ethan and Rachel (sorry idk how to spell his wife's name). What about them?" A ginger moved closer to a brunette beside him.
"They still fight." A brunette felt himself turning away towards a ceiling above him.
"That doesn't mean they don't love each other Ross. You can fight and still be in love." A ginger's hand grasped a brunette's.
"But it's not quite the same kind of love anymore. It fades, it becomes strained. It's no good after that." A brunette moved his hand free.
"If that's what you want to believe, feel free." A ginger moved back, trying to keep a brunette comfortable.
"Any other questions?" A brunette felt tension begin to grow.
"Yeah. You might think it's weird but, are you still a virgin Ross?" A ginger knew his boundaries, but wanted to test them.
"That is an odd question." A brunette moved away, looking up again.
"You don't have to answer, I was just seeing if you made the same kind of mistakes as I made." A ginger accepted defeat and kept his distance.
"Staying a virgin?" A brunette spared another glance towards a ginger.
"I wish." A ginger met his eyes.
"Oh. No, I haven't. Still virgin." A brunette looked up at a ceiling, but found himself wanting comfort from a ginger's hand again.
"Stay like that. Not forever, but at least until you find someone you love, a lot. Will you do that for me?" A brunette grasped a ginger's hand cautiously, noticing another's concern.
"Yeah, of course. It's not like anybody would fuck me anyways." A brunette looked down at their hands shamefully.
"If it makes you feel better, if I was into guys I'd think you were very fuckable." A brunette felt himself blush.
"Thanks a lot Max. It helped so much. I'm sure the whole world agrees with your opinions." A brunette risked eye contact, nearly being swallowed alive by a ginger's stare.
"They should, or at least this one. It's very true." A brunette felt their face turning red.
"Stop. You're pushing it." A brunette moved his hand away from a ginger's grasp.
"Fine. Be that way." A ginger pouted and turned the other way.
"No, Maxxy!" A brunette reached hopefully around a ginger's body, ending up in a hug.
"I will beat you. Don't think I won't." A ginger swatted him away.
"Next question." A brunette pulled a ginger to face him again.
"Why do you come to me? Whenever you get thinking and need someone to talk to?" A ginger became curious, moving towards a brunette cautiously.
"I don't know. I guess I feel the most comfortable right here, with you listening. It's calming, and really nice." A brunette looked around a room carefully, trying to avoid a ginger's stare.
"Well I'm glad you can trust me." A ginger smiled as he moved even closer.
"So am I." A brunette glanced towards a smile, and smiled back. "Any more questions?" A brunette moved his head onto another's chest.
"No. I'm good." A ginger ran his fingers through a brunette's curly hair.
"Do you want me to leave now?" A brunette looked up, worry in his eyes.
"Whenever." A ginger smiled dearly at a brunette, calming his concerns.
"Okay." A brunette smiled back. And a brunette and a ginger laid happily on a bed for a short while. "Thanks Max." A brunette kissed a ginger's forehead softly before getting out of a bed and walking out of a room. A ginger smiled blissfully and giggled when a brunette's footsteps could no longer be heard.
"I promise you Ross, I will teach you what life is meant to be like. I will fix you, I want to see you happy again." A ginger made a promise to never give up, before turning away and laying with his back facing a door once more.

So, whole point of this was is that you can read  just the normal text and get a story. Or you can read the bold text and get a story. Or you can read both text styles and get another story. That and I kinda needed to vent and this was the best way my brain could process how to do so. Beware, I wrote the normal text last night while very very tired yet also awake with buzzing thoughts. And then I wrote the bold text today on the bus. So ye. I hope you enjoyed. Bai!!!

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