Secret Files PH

"Last message"

"Last message"

My worst fear happened when you left. Like a broken glass things will never be the same. I think about you a lot and I wish you think about me too. I still can't see myself with anyone but you.
Whatever happens, you'll always be a special part of my life. Not only do we share we been through so much. You can block me on facebook, but you can't do the same for my thoughts and feelings. You we're my everything and you still are. I still find myself falling for you and it's useless to pretend that i can't move one. I may smile and kid around with friends, but it's a fake smile bacause deep inside I still miss everything about you. You are trapped inside ny head and sometimes it's too much. It's such a depressing thing. Regret, they say, is a useless emotion. But it's clear to me now that I made a mistake and it drives me crazy. It is sad that we never said goodbye it just ended. Does it all matter? One day, I hope I can atone for what happened and be with you again, even if that's going to be in paradise. I seem pathetic, yes, but I often find myself looking in the mirror and hoping you had dreamt of me the night before. My life has become constant monologue of myself whispering "Why did I do that to hurt you?" I guess feelings don't really go away. They may hibernate, and you may get distracted, but they stick. They just become more severe when one realizes that they are real, and the only thing that get in the way is pride or other factors like when people who don't truly understand and empathize about what happened interfere. It's just so frustrating and depressing, sometimes. But the lesson is that I've learned that even though we're now different situations, he's still be the biggest part of me. I'm just really sad right now. Forgive my message if it's too much. I grow older and I have to live with the pain that I caused. Still, I'm very sorry for what I've done. For not being able to provide, for not being there, for everything I've missed. Maybe true love sometimes requires these moments and imaginings. The best part of I love you is will always be you. Thank God for imagination I'm always with you. God knows how much i miss you.-(ctto)