Secret Files PH

"LET ME BE THE ONE"

"LET ME BE THE ONE"

It was year 2006 when we first met in such unusual place, most probably an unexpected situation. Pero ang common denominator externally between us is that we are "wearing white." FEU nursing student siya by that time. Kasama sa kanilang course was that so-called "community immersion." I am not an FEU student, she was. So, paano nga ba kami nagkakilala? Through concert-for-a-cause. Nanuod siya, and I was one of the performers. Since the event was open for public, nataon naman na ang nagmamay-ari ng kaniyang tinutuluyang bahay for their community immersion sa isang bayan sa Cavite was one of our cooks. Puzzling pa rin ba? Well, let's move on.

Habang nagpe-perform ako, nakita ko siya. I admit I was captivated by her beauty (karamihan talaga sa mga nursing students magaganda.) Mas lalo tuloy akong ginanahang kumanta, until the end of the show, hayun, pasimple kong kinuha number niya. Hanggang sa naging magkausap na kami thru text. And such text became deep expression that we really felt it's not anymore friendship developing, but "deeper" than that. Hayun, lovebirds : )

For 4 years wala kaming naging problema maging long distance man ang naging relationship namin. She's my ideal girl sa lahat ng mga naging girlfriend ko, physically much more emotionally. Beauty with brains sige na nga. But it seemed I am in deep trouble with myself. Unfair ako sa kanya. Once a month lang kami magkita on a regular basis, kapag may bakasyon o research outside ako kami nagkikita. Nakakakonsensiya, though we truly love ourselves, the "barrier" is that I cannot fulfill my duty as her boyfriend. Masakit man but I need to decide, not because I am adulterous, but because I love her and she's truly precious.

The last time we met was 2012, bago siya umalis papuntang N.Z. Alam na niya ang nais kong sabihin sa kanya. Her only reply was "I knew from the start na sugal ang mahalin ka; I chose to kasi alam kong tapat kang magmahal. But I cannot force you, for sure time will make it for us. Andito lang ako, I could wait, if there's someone to wait."

Wala akong masabi, kundi puro luha. Helpless ako. She responded with a warm hug, and a kiss, sa forehead.

Ngayon, masaya siya sa trabaho niya abroad, nag-masteral and eventually grumaduate with honors. Madalang na kami mag-usap but it's okay. I surrender to destiny, kung kami man ang para sa isa't-isa.

"Let me be the one to break it up, so you won't have to make excuses..." That's the song na kinanta ko sa concert. Coincidentally, that was the song which started the spark between us, unknowingly the reality with which we will be.

To her, my utmost THANK YOU. Natutunan kong umibig at mas maintindihang umibig lalung higit bilang isang... magpapari.

"So I'm telling you I love you one last time, and goodbye."
(Sorry, I am crying while typing this. Miss ko pa rin pala talaga siya.)

DIMPLES
Philosophy and Co