Secret Files PH

An artistry of the fool

An artistry of the fool

"Beautiful", I said on the back of my mind, as I saw him sobbing near the fountain with his friends comforting him. The way he doesn't let the tears fall 4 inches away from his eyes,  the way he wipes his tears by his palm instead of his fingers, the way he gasps for air when his unconscious self stops him from doing so, the way he desperately tries to protect his dignity from the prejudice of society. Is it weird to tell him he's beautiful when he's crying? I was slowly walking as I've had the desire to comfort him with a hug because I was told that my hugs could comfort anyone yet I do not do so often. But how can I when he doesn't even know me, even my name? How can I stop his sadness when I do not occupy anything, even a nerve in his mind? How can I comfort him when I am an epitome of paradox, and my feelings would turn as hatred when it reaches him? So I walked as fast as I can, trying to fix my eyes on the floor, never wavering.

As time passes, I just realized that his sadness was something that can't be stopped by someone, and that alone is beautiful. The emotions that he felt that day that he couldn't control, the tears that rolled down his cheeks and his ragged breath. The raw feeling of sadness with no signs of concealment. They were all beautiful. It is beautiful. He is beautiful.

Then I saw his smile. Subtle yet short. Short yet real. Real yet full of life. A smile that didn't went through my eyes nor brain, but straight to my heart. A smile that made me realize of my beating heart, which ached too much. Then I saw a pair of eyes. A pair of eyes that spoke of kindness yet screamed of pain. A pair of crystal ball that didn't went through my eyes but through my mind. It was the same pair of eyes that sang of  melancholy till it burns, yet it was the same pair of eyes that made me hate of its existence, not because of his glances to me for a few seconds, but of what it can do to my mind. It's not perfect but it's beautiful. It's not extravagant but it's beautiful.

It's beautiful.
He's beautiful. 

CALM