Sex, Love, and Basketball *Books 1 and 2* (Slowly Editing)

26. Ex's and Oooooh's

Sorry for any grammatical errors or mistakes.

Raquel

After the drive of shame back to my apartment, I took a shower in attempt to wash away not only the sting of rejection, but the new feelings of guilt and regret. I never thought that I'd associate those things with Raya in such a way, but I couldn't help but to feel bad. Not even an hour after I was pretty much telling Malaya that I had feelings for her, I went off and had sex with the woman that I was trying to get over. How can I be so sure of my feelings for Malaya when I can go off and do something like that?

I know that I don't owe Malaya anything. I don't have to be faithful to her because there is nothing going on between us. I can sleep with who ever I want. The only thing is, I want to be faithful to her. And I don't want to sleep with anyone else. I want her to want me the way I want her. But right now, I don't think I can give her what she deserves. She deserves someone that isn't hooked on someone else. I may have been able to develop feelings for her, but that doesn't change the fact that I have feelings for Raya.

I just need to work on myself. Once I get my head and heart right, I'll try talking to Malaya again.

Daniella

"Thank you very much. I'd repay you with a kiss, but I'm not the hoe that I used to be." I said standing up from Raquel's living room floor. Our first basketball game was going to take place in about three hours and she was braiding my hair into two braids for me. That was just my go to hair style for games.

"Not to mention Nadia would probably beat your little ass. Or get Malaya to do it." Raquel said laughing at my foolishness. "Why couldn't you get her to do your hair anyway? I mean, she's your girlfriend. Not me."

"She's not my girlfriend and she's sick. I offered to take care of her until it was time for our game, but she begged me to leave her alone because she didn't want to get me sick too. Plus she said she felt ugly, but honestly, she looked super cute all red nosed and wrapped up in her blanket." I spoke with a smile as I thought about Nadia.

Now don't be alarmed. I'm not the Dani that I used to be. This isn't me being afraid of labels, this is just me being afraid of moving too fast. I don't want to rush into anything, but Nadia and I have been in the "pre-girlfriend" stage for a little over a month. I want to make things official, but I always wuss out of it. On three occasions I've been close to asking Nadia to be my girlfriend, but I always back out at the last second.

"What the hell are you two waiting for? The apocalypse?" Raquel asked chuckling.

"I could ask you the same question. When are you going to tell Malaya you're in love with her?" I asked exaggerating.

"I'm not in love with her. And besides, she knows I like her. I know I like her. The ball is in her court. I gave myself time to get my feelings for Raya sorted out and now that I have, I'm just enjoying not having to stress over anything, but academics." Raquel said grabbing her book bag. "Now let's get to the gym early because if we suck up, we'll definitely start."

I rolled my eyes at that. Raquel was going to start regardless and not because she's had sex with our coach. Simply because she's the best at her position. I on the other hand was not. Malaya wasn't as passionate about basketball as some of us were, but when she played, you'd think she was. She literally just played to play and she's one of the best point guards in our conference. She helps me out a lot at practice and sometimes I think she wants me to do well enough to make coach choose me to start over her, but that's not gonna happen. Unless she gets hurt or something.

I can remember thinking Malaya was mean, but she's been really nice to me ever since all that stuff happen between Nadia and me. She's just a really misunderstood individual. I'll admit, she's had her moments, but I think it was just an act to sort of put a barrier around herself. If people were afraid of her, the chances of them attempting to penetrate that barrier were slim to none.