Author's Games: Star Wars

Task One: Feedback

7: Trader Male Mayek - 13

Your entry was absolutely intense! It was also extremely unique and different from most other entries with how the side character broke out first. It was chaotic and thrilling, making for an enjoyable read. Keep up the great work! Next task you'll want to continue fleshing out his character. 

8: Trader Female Arin Merrick - 13

Your descriptions were just so concise! Your entry was intensene, I mean I was hooked and I didn't want to stop reading. It was also very creative and you planned it out well. I also didn't see any mistakes at all, which made for a smooth read. The emotions of your characters and the vocab usage was mature. Great job; it's a big improvement from last task. So work as hard every entry and you'll continue to do well! I also got katana feels and loved her emotions about the Jedi and Sith. 

12: Politician Female Jesla Hital - 13

Your strongest point was the amazing characterization you did. Immediately I got a sense for who Jesla is. I also got feels for her and her sister. I love their realtionship and I thought you established their close friendship very well. I didn't see any mistakes and I loved the creative twist with how the sister escaped first and saved Jelsa instead of the other way around. Great job! Work on keeping up that creativity in future tasks!

14: Citizen Female Jenaara Kalor - 13

Your introduction hooked me into your entry immediately. The descriptions of her emotions was so well written it instantly got me into her. It was creative as well as intense and I literally just couldn't stop reading. For the next tasks you need to start figuring out what you want for a character arc and keep working on characterizing her which you've done a good job of doing. 

9: Smuggler Male Mazhdar Schneljdar - 12.9

Descriptions and creativity! I was SO impressed with your entry! The way you used a monster to bite the pillar in half and the deaths with the monsters eating each other not only was realistic but it was unique and creative! You had 0.1 point loss from one incorrect punctuation but outside of that great job! Just be sure to keep up this level of hard work in the future tasks and don't get lazy on me! This overall felt very much like Star Wars! I loved it!

19: Sith Male Yurrei - 12.9

Your 0.1 loss came from the fact that you had one grammar mistake, which I think was a typo. The lack of hearing was super creative in the way you portrayed it. I loved it! You have such great characterization with Yuurei. I did wonder about your realism - would a Sith work with a Jedi willingly? And vice-versa? It didn't seem likely to me. I didn't take off this time, but next task I will so just be sure everything stays true to Star Wars and that the characters stay true to who they are. Great job!

4: Slaver Female Sul-Juuk - 12.8

0.1 came from a punctuation mistake and 0.1 also came off because I wasn't fully engaged 100 percent of the time. I sent you a detailed critique but you had some fantastic lines and I got a lot of feels throughout the entry. Let me know to make sure you received my critique. 

10: Smuggler Female Sarilea Valkir - 12.8

0.1 loss came from flow in your description of the beast and the other 0.1 came from Star Wars realism - you had guns with bullets instead of blasters. The suspense during the action scenes was so intense that I had to know what was going to happen yet. You had me on the edge of my seat. I loved how you also had lines drawing out the suspense. In future entries, just double check everything is realistic to Star Wars! Great job!

1: Bounty Hunter Male Sha'ar Kagle - 12.7

You had two grammar mistakes - one typo and one present tense word. I took off 0.1 for emotional impact since I didn't really get the feels and I took off another 0.1 for sentence flow. I loved your creativity with having Sha'ar change into a monster. It was strictly unique and made your entry stand out! The gorey descriptions made me cringe which is a good thing! Just double check in a quick read through next time and you'll have a perfect score!