Let Her Go (girlxgirl) (lesbian story)

Chapter Seventy

Robyn

Groggy and light-headed from travelling across the world at 36,000 feet, I nevertheless felt better than I had for ages because I had a mission, a goal, a purpose at last. After drifting in limbo for the past eight days, I had discovered the solution to all my problems and all I had to do was get to my room.

I hadn't been there since the night of Sabastienne's leaving party: first, because I'd refused to leave the hospital while she was there and then because her parents had flown us all out to Russia in their private jet. Now I yearned to be there. I needed to spend time in the space in which she and I had been so close, so intimate. All I wanted was to wrap myself in memories like blankets and feel as though she'd walk through the door any second. Couldn't I delude myself a little while before the inevitable?

The streets were familiar now so there couldn't be long to go. My heart fluttered: soon I was going to be with my baby. I counted the seconds, fingers drumming incessantly on my leg, teeth worrying at my bottom lip. I tasted blood but didn't stop.

The car halted. I jumped out and ran. Zoey chased me: what the fuck was her problem? Everyone else followed like ducklings behind their mother. 'Pathetic,' I thought, full of spite. They'd all been whispering together on the plane, thinking I was asleep, discussing my unstable frame of mind. And now they weren't giving me any privacy: to stop me doing something stupid, to be 'good friends'. So be it. I'd just wait until they left. Or fell asleep.

I spun around. Zoey was going too fast to react and nearly slammed into me. I darted away yelling: "Tag!"

"What the fuck?"

I laughed, "See, I'm fine. Fuck off." My little exhibition didn't have the desired effect. If anything, it just made her more determined to stay. She and her cohort followed me through the school. Okay. Challenge accepted! "You know what," I turned on her, "let's go to your room. We're always in mine."

"Uh, no."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Good response. Anthony, your room free?"

"Not really," he said, rubbing the back of his head, eyes shifting uncomfortably.

"Brilliant. Isn't this going tremendously? Gosh, could it get any better?"

"For fuck's sake, Robyn," Charlotte exclaimed, "stop that. Just talk to us. We're worried about you."

"Of course, because sarcasm masks deep unhappiness," I said.

Charlotte practically snarled, "Real fuckin' witty. Are you going to spend your whole life in denial? Do you know where that'll get you? Back in that fucking psych ward, you idiot!"

"Charlie, maybe you should-" Jonas tried to interject but I cut him off.

"No, let her," I fixed the dark-haired girl with a cold stare. This made it all the easier not to feel guilty. "I'm listening." But they weren't. Charlotte and Jonas were heading away together, leaving me alone with Zoey, Anthony and Alexis. "You sure three's enough?" I sneered, "Can't be too careful with these crazy ones, you might need to sit on me." Zoey looked at me as though I was an abused puppy: on the brink of tears. "Oh come off it," I snapped and Anthony stepped forward, grabbed me by the arm and began dragging me away.

"That's enough," he commanded. "We're going to the gym."

"Should we-" Alexis started but Antony cut her off with a quick shake of his head.

"I don't lift, bro. Also, I'm wearing jeans."

"Too bad." He was pretty determined and also pretty strong so I had no choice but to obey. Inside the gym, the smell of sweat was strong and I wrinkled my nose. Anthony flicked on the lights to display a surprisingly large room full of all the usual equipment. The only things I recognised were the treadmills and cycling machines. "Take your pick," said he, making a gesture with his hand that encompassed everything.