Let Her Go (girlxgirl) (lesbian story)

Chapter Fifty-four

Sabastienne

I trailed my lips down to her neck as she ran her hands through my hair and tug. I paid it no mind as I sucked, wanting to leave my mark on her, but the sting of her pulling on my hair drew me up.

"What?" I mumbled as I looked up at her.

"I love you you, but you're not getting away so easily Sabastienne. Why did you do all this? And I want the whole story and the truth."

Sighing I got up and sat on the edge of the bed, turning my back towards her. "Where do I start?" I whispered to myself, but she heard me.

"From the top."

I kept my back turned to her and ran my hands across my face. "I was about eleven or twelve at the time, just a little kid when I first got sick. No one knows what really happened, I just got up one morning and couldn't move my hands. I had an intense pain shooting through my head and back. I ignored it, deciding not to tell anyone. I remember sitting, thinking it would past in a little, then there was just nothing. I found out I passed out and one of my friends found me. For weeks I couldn't go to school, I could barely move my upper body." I felt her hands wrap around my waist and I leaned into her touch for comfort. "The doctors didn't know what was wrong, I would just black out from pain and God knows what else. Then one day it just disappeared."

"I don't understand. How could it just disappear?" She rubbed her hands over my stomach soothingly, she knew how much I loved it.

"Not even I know. I just woke up healthy again. It was gone and I was just happy that it was."

"So what does that have to do with why you left me?"

"Because I only thought it was gone. A while back I was on the Polo team at my former Academy. I was really good at it, so the coach pushed me harder than everyone else, he wanted me to try out for the national team. I trained longer and harder, went to practise earlier and left way after everyone else. I didn't mind, I actually liked it. Then I started getting sluggish and easily fatigued. After a while I realized no matter how hard I pushed myself, I just couldn't keep up. My coach thought I was being lazy so he pushed harder and harder."

"What an asshole." She sneered and I laughed.

"He kinda was, but the good kind. He just thought I was slacking and didn't want our hard work to be wasted."

"Still a dick though. What else happened?"

"Well one day during training I started turning blue. I didn't even realize it until a teammate lost her mind when she saw me. I was rushed to the hospital and they found out that my lungs weren't performing as they should and enough oxygen wasn't getting to my brain."

"That explains why you felt sluggish and fatigued."

"Yes." I looked over at her and smiled slightly. She was so adorable when she was being all smart and nerdy.

"Why are you smiling?"

"No reason, should I continue?"

"Of course, go on."

"Well I had to stop training for a while, then the headaches, the pain in my limbs they came back. I did test after test, scan after scan and nothing. They found absolutely nothing. I was getting sick and there was no cause. I started having chills and internal fevers. I was deteriorating rapidly and there was nothing anyone could do. Then I got some medication, it stabilized the symptoms but it can't cure it and voila, here I am today." I said with fake enthusiasm.

"Fuck."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, I should have said something more..." She racked her brain for right word.

I grinned and teased her. "Eloquent?"

She gently nudged me. "Shut it and don't make me smile."

"Sorry." I said not sorry in the least.

"So what now?"

The question caused my little bout of joy to dissipate. "I...Um."

"Just tell me."

"I went to the doctor here, he's supposedly the best in the country."

"Oh? That's great, what did say? Did he find what's wrong? Will you be okay?" The enthusiasm evident in her voice.

I stayed silent and looked down.

Her face fell. "He didn't did he. What did he say?"

"Robin I..."

"Just fucking tell me! You owe me that much!"

I got off bed and paced to the other side of the room, I kicked at the door before resting my head on it. "I'm dying." I mumbled.

"What?"

I turned to her, looking her in the eyes."I'm dying." I said more clearer.

"Wh...No. Did he say that?"

"He found nothing, as far as its medically concerned, there is nothing to cure. So I basically I'm fucked."

"No, I-I don't believe that." She shook her head from side to side profusely. "No." she whispered again.

I walked over to her and kneeled between her knees. Our faces on the same level as I took her hands in mine.

"I'm so sorry baby girl."

"When did you go to the doctor?"

"A few weeks ago."

"So you broke up with me because you thought I'd have left you? You thought I wouldn't want you anymore, that I couldn't handle it?" Hurt evident in her voice.

"No, baby no." I tightened my hands around hers as she tried pulling them away. "The exact opposite. I knew you would stay, I knew you would want me and i knew you would have done everything you could to handle this."

"Then why?" She whispered.

"Because before you, I didn't care. I figured it was life you know. I wasn't angry, I wasn't really sad. I just figured if it happens, it happens." I brought her fingers to my lips and gently kissed them. "Then I met you and I fell so fucking hard, I became angry and pissed off. I just found the best thing to ever happen to me in my entire existence, my muse, the love of my life and I couldn't keep you. I wanted to make you my wife and have you for eternity. We were supposed to have babies. You were supposed to give me little girls with your beautiful eyes and that dorky smile that I absolutely adore." I felt the tears run down my face as I softly laugh. "We were supposed to grow old together. I wanted to be able to tell you how sexy and beautiful you are even when you're gray and ancient." I teased. "I wanted forever and a day with you. To bicker and argue, to laugh and make amazing memories. To make love to each other and having awesome make up sex." I grinned as she tugged on my hair.

She stared at me, biting her lips, silent tears streaming down her face as she stared at me with those big blue green eyes.

"Now, now I can't stop thinking about you, laying in bed, crying out for me and I'm not there to hold you," I gently wiped her tears. "Or to wipe your tears and tell you I'm there and that everything will be okay. That I won't be there to see you become the amazing woman I know you will be or to watch you have tons of babies."

"L-let me decide." Her tears coming faster. "Pl-please."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because if the roles were reversed, I know I would never let you go."

"I don't care!" She yelled and fisted my shirt. "I'm not letting you go, I refuse to!"

"Robyn." I whispered. "You won't have a choice."