Let Her Go (girlxgirl) (lesbian story)

Chapter Fifty-one

Robyn

Jonas cradled me to his chest while I cried. He and Ant held me up as I tried to walk.

My throat was raw and my eyes burned from all the tears but they didn't stop. I couldn't make them stop. It was scaring me, how little control I had. How much she could affect me.

People were staring at us as we passed but I barely noticed.

She'd been leaving. She was packing her bags. Why would she leave? Did I disgust her that much? I had to stop her. Even if we weren't together I couldn't bear it I never saw her. With every ounce of self control I had I forced my tears to stop and stood without the help of my friends.

"There's something I have to do," I told their questioning looks. "I'll see you guys later."

I walked away but Zoey ran after me.

"You can't go on your own."

"Please," I begged.

"I'll wait outside the door," she said, taking my hand in hers. I didn't ask how she knew where I was going I just nodded and squeezed my fingers around hers gratefully.

We reached my room and I released Zoey's hand, then went into my room.

"Sabastienne," I called out. There was no one in our room, her bag still sitting on her bed, half packed.

I stood in silence then heard something from the bathroom.

"Sabby?" I called again, going through.

Sabastienne stood there, her arms crossed.

"What do you want?" Her voice wasn't as cold as it had been earlier, it sounded more vulnerable.

I stared at her. She didn't look well. Her eyes looked slightly red, almost as thought she'd been crying. She didn't cry though, she's told me as much. I was confused but decided to ignore it for now.

"What?" She asked again. I took a step forward and held out my arms, offering her a hug. "No, I told you I don't like touching you," she protested without much conviction. I ignored her and pulled her into my arms, squeezing tightly.

"Don't go," I whispered.

"Why?"

"I don't want you to."

"I think I have to."

"Please don't. I'll stay away for as long as I can, you won't even have to see me. Just don't go, I'm begging you."

"We could be friends," she said and I nearly started to cry. Friends was the last thing I wanted us to be. Fucking friends. Like that would ever work.

I pulled away and looking at her beautiful face I found myself agreeing. Anything to keep her in my life. Even if she wouldn't be mine any longer.

A tear ran down my cheek and I muttered an apology then hurried out of the room. I paused to wipe my eyes then when out to where Zoey was, flashed her a smile and we went back to her and Charlottes room.

"What happened?" She asked, "are you two okay now?"

"We're going to be friends," I told her, my voice small.

"Shit," she breathes, "you and Baste friends. That'll be weird."

I nodded, feeling my stomach twist. I was hoping we wouldn't be just friends for long and what happened in the bathroom gave me hope. She didn't hate me, or my touch. That must've been another lie. I chewed my lip, slumping down on the floor, lost in thought. I would work it out, or find out. She couldn't hide this from me forever.

I was lost in thought for most of the day. However I just couldn't work out what was wrong, which was irritating me to fuck. I was usually quicker than this, but she'd give me literally no clues.

"Bobbin?" Jonas nudged me and I jumped.

"Shit! You scared me!"

"Sorry," he bit his lip, "it's time for dinner."

"Shit she'll be there won't she?"

He nodded, "yeah."

"Help me up," I grabbed his hand and let myself be pulled off the floor. "If I look like I'm about to cry make an excuse that we have to go, okay?"

He shrugged. "I know what she did was shit Robyn but she's probably not feeling great herself. Don't be too hard on her."

"Who said I was?"

"We all know what your like Bobbin. Try and be nice."

"Why should I?" I demanded childishly. "She broke my heart."

"Just be nice," he sighed.

"Only because you're in love with her," I muttered under my breath, completely pissed off. "Just like everyone else." I wanted to hit something, or rather someone. And no, it's not Sabastienne, before you think that. Rather Charlotte.

She'd disappeared a few hours ago to see how Sabby was doing. And it was fucking annoying. Who did she think she was? I'd rather anyone else but her. She probably thought now Sabastienne was single she could get in there. And the shitty thing was I thought she could too. But whatever. I didn't care about that. I didn't care about Sabastienne any more.

Sabastienne was already at our table when we got there.

She looked up at us all, her eyes meeting mine for only a second before I looked away. I'd show her I was fine.

I sat down and flashed Sabastienne a quick smile, before turning to Zoey and starting a conversation.

When I looked back Sabby looked confused and hurt. I felt a second of triumph then felt like the worlds biggest asshole. Why the fuck was I hurting her? She didn't deserve that, no matter what she's done to me.

I was such a bitch. No wonder Jonas had told me to be nice. I had to stop.

I looked down at my plate and stabbed a chip (French fry, I think, for Americans) with my fork. I ate in silence, ignoring everyone around me. The food tasted like cardboard in my mouth and I felt sick after the first mouthful but I wasn't going to stop. It was something to do, a distraction I could pass up. Halfway through my meal I stopped.

"Sabastienne?" I said quietly. The entire table fell silent, all of them watching us.

"Yes?"

"How are you?"

"I'm fine," she looked me straight in the eyes as she said this and I knew mine were pooling with tears.

"Oh, uh, me too." I went back to my food quickly, blocking out the mutterings of our friends.

I finished as quickly as I could. When I was done I stood and walked away. I went straight to my room and hid under the covers trying to forget how her face had looked when she told me she was fine.

Tears silent ran down my cheeks and I didn't bother to wipe them away.

I'd find out what was going on and sort it. I had to.