It Was Meant To Be // Brannie

Chapter 94

Date : March 22, 2016
Age : 19
POV : Brennan

I turned the key to Annie's front door of her house and barged in. Light crept through the door, so I shut it as quick as possible.

I walked over towards the couch to set down the donuts I had brought, but instead I saw Annie, looking barely awake and slightly sitting up. She had a wool blanket on her and she was in the sweatshirt I had given her last night.

I put the donuts down on the ground and walked over to her side. I sat down beside her and brushed the hair out her eyes.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," I whispered to her.

She started to rub her eyes to take a good look at me. She gave me a slight smile as I settled down next to her. I crossed my arms as she tried to sit up some more.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Why one Earth would I be okay?" I heard her mumble to herself.

"Sorry."

"No, no it's fine. I'm just not in the happiest mood."

"And you have every right to not be, Ans."

"I know, I just feel bad," she told me.

"Well don't."

She then opened her mouth to say something, but she immediately closed it. She ran hands through her hair and finally turned her face towards mine.

"You look rough." She said to me.

I shot my head down and said, "Yeah. I- uh. I couldn't get to sleep last night."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I paused. "I bet you had it worse."

"Crying myself to sleep? Yeah, it's hard to get any worst than that," she said while being 100% honest with me.

My heart ached for her. Losing a parent is the worst thing that can happen to someone, especially when your last exchange of words to eachother were not positive.

She lifted her knees up to her chest and gave herself a whole recap of the day before.

She laid her head on my chest and I wrapped on arm around her.

"I brought donuts. And I know that you said we shouldn't celebrate, and we're not, but you needed a nice breakfast." I told her.

"All I heard from that was 'donuts', but I don't care what the rest was. Get me the donuts," she spoke into my shirt.

I chuckled at her and tried to get my whole body off the couch without disturbing Annie. I leaned over by my toes and picked up the donuts.

"Okay, I have glazed, chocolate, and chocolate with sprinkles."

"Sprinkles please."

I grabbed the donut out of the bag and set the rest down next to her. I, then, sat on the other side of her and gave her the donut.

I rewrapped my arm around her should and I said, "I wonder how everyone else is doing."

"The family or the friends?"

"I meant the friends, but I guess both."

"Well, I bet everyone else here in Maryland is asleep, but our families are probably miserable." she said.

I tore a bite-size piece off of her donut and threw it into my mouth. "I bet that they are looking for tickets for a way home."

"I miss them."

"I do too, Annie. I do too."

I then watched Annie look over to her left and pick up her bible journal. She turned to the first page and looked at what she had drawn when she was in third grade.

"God will be your rock, but only as long as you allow him to be," she read.

I kept my eyes on her and I watched her slowly shake her head. She closed the bible journal and put her head on her knees.

How was she that flexible, I have no idea.

"I've believed in a lie my whole life," she mumbled. She then threw the book across the room and she seemed as if her eyes were starting to water.

She looked up into my eyes and her eyes were already red.

"Why does God hate us so much?"

"Annie, he doesn't hate us." I said, trying to calm her down.

"Don't lie to me," She paused. "First Caleb, and then your dad, and now mom?"

I was confused by the sudden mood swing, but I tried to take it like a leader would and calm her down.

"I know it's all confusing, but you can't lose your faith, Annie."

She shook her head at me.

"Annie, you cannot lose it. You've come too far to just drop it and turn back." I grabbed her hands before continuing. "Trust me. I know it seems like everything is stacked up against you, but 99.9% of this world has not heard this news about your mom. Wouldn't it be weird for you to just quit everything in a time that seems 'perfectly normal'?"

"I have to quit," she mumbled.

"Take a break. Don't quit, please."

"I'm sorry," she quivered.

I stopped trying to fight back and just let her go. I wrapped my arms tightly around her body and whispered nice things into her ear, trying to calm her down again.

"I love you, okay?"

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay."

(a/n - ^ if you don't know what's that is from, how can you live)

"You're beautiful."

"I'm sorry," she blurted out.

"Why?" I softly asked.

"When I make a mistake, I know it. I feel it. I tear myself apart. I lose sleep. I just cannot stop thinking about it," she paused and looked down at her nails. "So I'm sorry. I'm just a big mistake and I've never realized it until now."

Hearing the girl I love most say that about herself made my heart drop.

"No, no." I whispered. "Don't even say that."

"But it's so true," she cried.

"Annie," I said as I wrapped my arms around her body. She wrapped her arms around my stomach and held on for dear life. Her tears already started to soak through my shirt, so I said, "You're so beautiful, Annie."

"You are worthy of everything."

"You deserve the world and even more."

"You are so kind, and your heart is so pure."

"I love you more than you'll ever know, Annie."