ALL I EVER NEED (PONGDDIE)

PART 30 - YOU and ME

JIA POV

I was at the front door of the dorm and I was so hesitant to come in. When I was leaving from the house, parang ayaw ko na rin umalis at bumalik pa.

I just felt so loved and comforted at the house. And I know pagdating ng dorm, I will never be happy again just like before. It will never be the same again.

But I know also that I can't just runaway from things every now and then. So I might as well face it and accept the reality. Masakit man para sa akin, for now, but I have to set Bea free.

Bumuntong hininga muna ako bago pumasok sa loob. Tahimik ang buong paligid. Ganito naman lagi kapag may mga pasok ang lahat.

Bumalik ulit sa alaala ko ang mga pangyayari ng huling araw na nandito ako. The time wherein Bea chooses to be with Maddie and just wanted to forget about me.

Dumiretso ako sa room, inilapag ang dala kong bag at naupo sa gilid ng bed ko na bagsak ang mga balikat ko. And I just gaze at the bed opposite mine. It was Bea's bed.

I miss her, I miss her so bad. Dati pagdating ng dorm she would always welcome me with all joy in her face. And would kiss my lips not minding the people around.

Everytime ahe would do that lagi ko siya sinisimangutan pero tatawanan lang niya ako at susunggaban ulit ng halik. And now I never thought I would miss her doing that.

"It is so hard to let you go boo. It is so hard to just let go and forget what is between you and me." (I utter the words na sobrang bigat sa dibdib)

"I am so blessed that you came into my life Bey. You are special for me, and you will always be. It's hard for me to do this, but I have to set you free now." (mahina kong usal sa sarili)

"Maybe, maybe were not meant to be together in this time. But you will always be special. And I don't know if I could ever forget you." (patuloy kong wika nang may bigat sa kalooban)

"You are free now. I m setting you free. You are free to chose and love her if that would make you happy." (sabi ng isip ko habang umagos na ang mga luha ko sa mata)

I slowly wipe my tears away, akala ko naubos na ang mga luha ko kakaiyak sa bahay for three days.

Three days akong nagtago sa bahay, three days akong nagmukmok sa loob ng kwarto kakaiyak. Three days akong lumayo sa dorm para lang umiwas kay Bea.

Three days of crying, hiding and running away from the cause of my pain. But now, though it is still painful I feel a bit lighter.

I calm myself and stop from crying. Then, tumayo na ako at kinuha ang karton sa isang sulok at hinila ito sa tabi ng cabinet ko.

Pagkabukas, dumako ang mga mata ko sa unang regalo ni Bea para sa akin, ang panda na unan.

Kinuha ko ito at niyakap ng mahigpit and close my eyes as I remember that moment where she gave me the panda as a surprise gift. And I smile as I thought of it.

Nang magsawa na, inilagay ko ito sa karton nang mabigat sa loob ko. Kasunod ko na rin, tinanggal at nilagay sa karton ang iba pang mga bagay na ibinigay niya noon sa akin.

Mabigat sa loob habang unti unti kong tinatanggal lahat ng mga ibinigay niya sa akin at isa-isa kong inilalagay sa karton.

Nang matapos sa paglagay ng gamit sa karton, hinawakan ko ang necklace na suot ko at dinama ito. Bea gave the necklace to me nung maging official ang relasyon naming dalawa. Kaya mahalaga ito sa akin.