ALL I EVER NEED (PONGDDIE)

PART 65 - PEACE

MADDIE POV

I am on my bed, still stunned sa narinig ko mula kay Ponggay. Never dumako sa isip ko ang ganung eksena. Sa dami ng pwedeng mangyari, yun pa talaga ang naganap.

"And the truth is, mahal kita Yrenea. And I was so stupid to fall in love with you kahit hindi pwede kasi may Zoey ka na. Kaya lang tanga nga ako di ba, tanga ako dahil minahal pa din kahit masakit na. Tanga ako kasi mahal  kita kahit alam kong hindi mo ako mamahalin dahil immature ako at isang makasarili."

Those words of hers has been echoing on my mind. And it does not give any peace of mind to me. And I don't even know what to feel.

I am not mad that she has feelings for me, that I am sure of. To be honest, I felt warmth within knowing she likes me. But it gives me more feelings of confusion.

Hindi ko maitatanggi these past few months na kaming dalawa ang madalas na magkasama at magkausap simula ng masawi siya kay Basti.

And everything suddenly changes mula nang may mangyari sa aming dalawa sa condo unit niya. Hindi na talaga kami nag-uusap.

Iniiwasan ko siya kasi nahihiya ako at natatakot na umabot sa ganun ang lahat. And I felt guilty dahil may relasyon kami ni Zoey.

I was even more confused with my reactions kapag magkasama silang dalawa ni Kobe. Apart me doesn't like the idea of Ponggay being with Kobe.

"Hindi kaya nagseselos ka?"
(singit ng utak ko)

"Cannot be, hindi maari. Mahal ko si Zoey. At tsaka bakit ako magseselos?"
(pagtutol ko sa isip ko)

Iwinaksi ko ang isipin na yun. Hindi lang ngayon nangyari na dumako ang salitang selos sa isip ko. Maraming beses na itong gumulo sa isip-isip ko.

Idagdag mo pa ang nangyari that night. Alam ko namang walang may gusto sa nangyari sa amin ng gabing yun. I was drunk and I am not in the right set of mind.

Until now hindi namin pinag-usapan ni Ponggay ang sitwasyon and mas lalong naging complicated ang lahat. Just because she confesses her feelings for me.

Kung noong may nangyari sa amin hindi ko na alam paano siya kakausapin, lalo na ngayon I don't have any idea how to communicate with her.

Kahit ganitong hindi kami nag-uusap syempre I still care for her. She was my teammate at naging close na rin naman kami.

It was just because of some an unfortunate incident that it makes us feel awkward to go back to where we are used to be.

And as I recall everthing I realized that I have said words that is offending that I didnt know that time might have offended her.

"You are such an idiot Madelienne. How dare you say such words to her. That she is immature, selfish and the like." (usal ko sa sarili)

Napabuntong hininga ako realizing how Ponggay would have felt taht moment.

"You know. You could have said nice words to her. Instead of insulting her. If there is someone who is immature between the two of you, it's not Ponggay, it's you." (singit ng utak ko)

Napapikit ako trying to clear my thoughts. Nakakabaliw mag-isip. Naputol ang pagmumuni ko ng may biglabg pumasok sa room.

When I take a look sa pinto, it was Trey. And looking at her expression, bigla ako kinabahan.

Maaring alam na nkya ang nangyari kanina. Wala kasi siya nung magtalo kami sa baba at mag confess si Ponggay.

Bumangon ako sa bed and look at her. She was serious, and ngayon ko lang siya nakita na ganun ka seryoso.