The Advice Column III

413

Advice Request
This person wasn't advice on how to move past a girl.

Answered Submission
Hi!

Thank you for trusting us enough to come back for more advice. Obviously, at this point, I can't make a firm suggestion of what you should do simply because I don't know what has happened between the last time you requested advice and now. So, unfortunately, this response is going to involve a few questions that you can ask yourself and answer to help you evaluate your situation and decide what to do.

1. How have you been pulled back in after going so long without thinking about her?
2. What was the trigger that set those thoughts and feelings off again?
3. Is it possible to remove that trigger so that you don't feel like that again?

I think something you do need to focus on is yourself; do you want her in your life if it means you can't pull away or move on? Obviously, you are still invested in her, which is why you can't pull away again, so if you think you can keep her in your life as a friend and nothing more and continue to move on, then, of course, keep her as a friend. However, if it gets too tough or uncomfortable for you, then try using the same technique you did last time to move forward. You could also talk to her again and explain how you feel and that you aren't sure what to do or what she wants.

I completely understand how difficult it is to experience something like this—to get pulled back in once you think you've managed to move on. My advice here is to take things one day at a time, and if you need to refocus your energy, then do it as soon as you can, whether you choose to focus on a hobby or just talk to other friends and family. As long as you aren't constantly focused on her messages, etc., then you might start to slowly feel ready to pull away again.

I hope this helps,

The Advice Column Team