The Advice Column III

562

Advice Request
This person is having an inner conflict about their relationship.

Answered Submission
Hello,

I'm happy to hear that your relationship is faring well, although I know you must miss him terribly now that he's on vacation. Don't worry girl, he'll be back before you know it.

Moving on to the issues you've come to us for. When it comes to premarital sex, I can say that I am a firm believer against it for a number of reasons. The religious reason is a big one, especially in your family, it seems. Besides that, you also have to worry about STDs, accidental pregnancy, and more. Even while using protection, you are at risk. Condoms are 98% effective at protecting against most STD's like chlamydia and gonorrhea, and about 85% effective against pregnancy. Those are pretty good odds, but you should still be careful and take the health risk factors into account before engaging in intercourse.

You also have to think about the tough stuff. I'm going to assume that this is a high school relationship. Only about 2% of new marriages in North America stemmed from high school relationships. I am in no way trying to imply that yours won't last, but you have to keep in mind that sometimes, especially when we're young, relationships just don't work out. Now, you are not defined by who or how many people you've slept with, but is this a secret you want to have to keep from your family or a pain you want to deal with if the relationship goes downhill? That's all up to you, girl.

One big thing I've noticed from other relationships, is when people are very sexual, especially teenagers, it usually hints at something missing from the relationship that they try to fill in with sex or physically intimate acts. They may care for their partner, but in the end it just isn't the right person. When you're young, you should enjoy your youth. You shouldn't be worrying about pleasing your partner or them you. Honey, live your teenage years. Don't think that you have to send nudes or have sex for your relationship to be valid or for your boyfriend to love you. If anything, if he makes it seem that way, then that would be a good sign to pack up your feelings and leave. I am happy to hear that he doesn't pressure you though.

One more thing before I sign off here. You don't have to worry about God forgiving you. All you have to do is ask. That is the beauty of having a loving and forgiving God, isn't it? So while I don't recommend premarital sex, if you do choose to do it, you can rest knowing that you are loved by Him even if He isn't entirely pleased by your actions. I hope this helps, girl.

Stay strong,

The Advice Column Team