The Advice Column III

450

Advice Request
This person has been confused lately about their feelings for a friend.

Answered Submission
Hello,

I've said it once; I've said it a thousand times. Crushes suck. Crushes on a friend suck one hundred times more. We are more afraid to lose a friend than we are to be embarrassed in front of a stranger.

You've said that you two talk a lot. I'm sure you have mixed feelings about this because: a) you love talking to him and b) you hate feeling like you're gonna mess it all up. Girl, you have to put that aside. You're not hurting anyone by talking to your friend. You're not weird for feeling those butterflies in your stomach either. You just have to do your best not to overthink every little thing. It might feel impossible, but go ahead and try it.

Here's the thing. You have to decide whether or not you can see a future with this guy, and then you have to decide if it's worth the risk of potentially making it awkward between you and him, should he not feel the same way. Whatever you decide to do is up to you, my friend. If you do "shoot your shot" and tell him, you have to be prepared for him to reject you. Should that stop you? No, I don't think so. If he's really your friend, you should be able to tell him about something as small as a crush (even if it is on him). If he feels the same way, then great. Either way, your relationship is going to change. Is change a bad thing? No. It is simply a time for growth.

As for him being "misleading,” the only way you can get past that is to be honest with yourself and with each other. It won't be fun, I know, but once again you have to make that decision. Is it worth it? Is this something you want to pursue? If not, then leave it be. Crushes die out eventually, sometimes much faster than we'd expect.

Whatever you decide to do, do it for you. Live your best life. Besides, we only live once. What if you were to die in the next second?

Stay strong,

The Advice Column Team