The Advice Column III

431

Advice Request
The requestor wants to maintain a friendship, if not relationship with their crush.

Answered Submission
Hey!

It will be hard. Whether it will be as hard as you expect it to be or not will depend on you. People might say, "Don't worry. You'll find someone better." Ignore this. You aren't obligated to find anyone at all. The individual who you owe the most love to in your life is you. Love also your family and friends, and enjoy their love as well.

Growth of an individual starts with understanding that pain will always occur. It will come and go like happiness. It is how you deal with this pain that will make you grow. Will you sulk about it, or will you accept the pain and learn from it?

For your personal well-being, you should try to have more 'me time.' Try doing more of the things that you enjoy a lot: shopping, eating at bakeries, drinking at cafés, or simply watching YouTube. Know your likes and dislikes as well as the likes and dislikes of your friends. Putting smiles on their faces will make you happy as well.

Your mental health matters more than your grades or job do. Focus on yourself and being kind to yourself. If you ever need help, don't be afraid to ask others. There's never any shame in doing so.

I would also like to recommend meditation. It might seem lame or time-consuming, but when you really look at it, a person has a lot of time in a day that they waste. I know someone who has a very healthy and positive view of the world, simply because he sits straight and focuses on his breathing and emptying himself of all that is unnecessary inside him. Ten to fifteen minutes in the morning could work.

When you're feeling angry, frustrated, or otherwise negative, try looking into yourself and being sure of your emotions. If you were in a conflict, think about what you would have done if you were the other person. Knowing your positives and negatives can help you a lot. Self-control of your emotions is a very powerful thing to learn.

If you still continue to be friends with the boy, then I wish you good luck. Know that it may be hard, but in the end, it will be fine. Everything takes time, patience, and self-control. Enjoy his presence in whatever type of relationship you have. Be grateful to have him beside you, but remember that your utmost priority is yourself.

Don't let anyone else degrade you. If anyone makes you feel bad, don't get mad. Have self-control. Smile and tell them politely that you don't appreciate their negativity. Consider what they say for future self-improvement, but remember that they don't always have a right to comment on you.

There is a lot more to life than simply crushes and lovers. There's you, your family, friends, job, education, hobbies, interests, and so on. Have faith in yourself. You are a nice person. Everyone has both good and bad in them. Try to use your good and empty yourself of bad.

Do have a nice day and smile a lot. Eat and drink well too. Ultimately, do the things that you want to do.

I hope this helped!

Thank you,
The Advice Column Team