The Advice Column III

544

Advice Request

The requestor is not in a good place mentally and due to stress and pressure is very worried about their academic performance.

Answered Submission

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time, and I understand how you feel. It's like all the pressures and stresses are piling on, and even the insignificant can feel like a huge burden. I know this sounds cheesy, but things will start to get easier. It might take a bit of time, it might only improve bit by bit, but eventually things will clear up and you will start to feel like you can get back on top of things.

Know that what you are feeling is normal. It's amplified by the stresses that you are facing over your upcoming tests and future. You are not an idiot, and no one knows what their future holds. You can't assume that you're going nowhere in life, especially when you are still young.

Sometimes our minds and memories work in peculiar ways, so the stress and pressure that you're putting on yourself might be making it more difficult to remember the things you need to. Have you tried having a break from maths and just not thinking about it at all for a while? I know that you'd want to be getting as much studying in as possible, but sometimes we have to let our minds rest too. Don't try to pressure yourself into remembering everything all at once; take it in stages.

Focus on the things you do know, and reward yourself for the stuff you do remember and are good at. Motivation is such a huge thing when we are studying and experiencing test-anxiety. If you give yourself praise for the small successes and recognize when you solve problems of any variety, you'll be much more likely to keep improving. Don't focus on the negatives of the things you can't do or don't understand. Focus on finding a way to help yourself to start remembering things. Try different study methods, different solving techniques, and different ways of exploring the maths that you're struggling with. Don't expect things to become super clear overnight; swiftness is not a requirement.

Do you want a career that's going to focus heavily on maths and equations and everything that maths involves? Or is it just going to be the more basic maths that you will be using in your future? I did my maths tests years ago, and I can tell you now that I've only used basic maths so far. Don't stress too much about it unless it's going to be a crucial part of your future or your future career goals. I understand that teachers and the education system put all this stress on it being such an important subject to pass. While it is an important subject, there are still many people succeeding in their careers and lives who don't have the best grades in maths.

I understand that you are home-schooled, but is there any way you could ask for extra help regarding your maths? I'm not sure how home-schooling works or if you can get a maths tutor, but it's worth asking about if it means you'll be able to receive extra tutelage on a subject that is causing you stress and worry.

As for the possibility of working in a fast food place, I feel like it is a common misconception that bad grades in school will send you straight into the fast food industry. There are many fast food establishments that will still want you to have decent grades. Many people use those jobs as stepping stones before they go into a different career. Working in fast food isn't as shameful as it might have been in the past, and the work experience can open many other doors to success.

My main points are not to put so much pressure on yourself, recognize when you do get something right, and actually acknowledge it with a reward. You might find that giving yourself rewards will motivate you to keep improving and might relieve some of the stress and pressure. You'll no longer be just picking up on the fact that you can't do something or don't understand it, but you'll also be noticing that you did something well and that you might be starting to understand a little aspect of the topic. Eventually, the little things will start to stay in your mind, and you'll slowly start to learn and understand them.

I hope this helps,

The Advice Column Team.