The Advice Column III

583

Advice Request

The requestor's best friend, who they haven't met for 2 years, is joining their school and they want to remain best friends despite differences in their personas. 

Answered Submission

Hello,

I'm just going to go straight into this. Do not change yourself to fit the image someone else has for themselves or you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made to be exactly who you are, and there is no reason you should alter that for someone else. Honey, I know you love your friend and you don't want to lose her, but if changing yourself is the only way to make her like you then you're not losing anything by letting go of the relationship. 

People will always keep changing. Friends drift apart and life moves on. You can't hold on to the past and expect everything to be exactly where you left it. It just doesn't work that way. Your friend, just like you, has changed. She's not going to be the same person in junior high that she was in elementary school, and you can't expect her to be. You have to accept her for her just as she has to do the same for you. 

In the two years that you two have been out of contact; the lack of communication made it to where the relationship wasn't being maintained. Because of this, it just faded. If you want to be friends with her again, you have to go into it with the understanding that it won't be the same as it was when you were younger. You are starting over. You have to let go of the fear that she might not like who you are now. You are both in the same boat. She doesn't really know you anymore and you don't know her either. You can't make judgments on how she'll see you or whether or not she'll accept you. You have to be open minded.

To conclude: Just because she wears better clothes or is more prettier, it shouldn't mean anything to you at all. She's not better than you or worse. You have your own priorities. Grades first, then prettiness. Smartness is your charming point. You should never, ever try to fit in with someone else who doesn't match your personality or doesn't care about you. If she ignores you, her loss! You have your own friends, you could just be normal classmates with her. Don't stress out due to her.

Be true to yourself. Good luck with 8th grade!

Hope this helps, 

The Advice Column Team​