The Advice Column III

518

Advice Request
This person doesn't want her friend who's single to feel left out.

Answered Submission
Hello,

I understand that it can seem complicated when you are in a friendship group and one of your friends is single whilst everyone else is in a relationship. However, it doesn’t have to be complicated, and here’s why: as long as you don’t push her away or purposely make her feel left out, then there shouldn’t be an issue.

Obviously it’s understandable that you, your boyfriend, your other friend, and your friend’s boyfriend are going to want to do things that couples do—like go on dates; that’s perfectly fine. But what I would suggest is to involve your friend as much as possible. Remain as a group of friends rather than two couples and a single friend. Also, when you do activities as a group of five, try to be mindful that your single friend might not feel comfortable seeing a lot of PDA, so try to make sure she doesn't turn into a fifth wheel. If you continue to be a friendship group, then there shouldn’t be too many issues that arise.

Obviously you shouldn’t need to break up with your boyfriend, because that wouldn’t be fair on you or him. But be respectful that your friend is single and that at certain points she might start to feel left out. (I think with things like this, it is unavoidable). However, if you notice the two couples have been doing a lot together without realising you’ve been leaving her out, then invite her somewhere. Maybe just the three of you should do something every once in a while without the boyfriends so that you show her you are still there for her and so that your friendship continues to grow stronger.

As long as you or your other friend don’t start to purposely leave her out because she happens to be single, then everything should be fine. As long as you continue to support your friendship, then things shouldn’t have to change too much or at all.

I hope this makes sense and helps,

The Advice Column Team