The Advice Column III

480

Advice Request
This person is trying to get confidence to tell someone that they think they might have depression.

Answered Submission
Hello,

I can tell you right now that it is a great sign that you want to seek out help. There is no shame whatsoever in asking for a little push in the right direction.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with that. I know personally how difficult it can be. I especially know how hard it can be to try to handle it by yourself. Depression is not easy, even if it's just what I like to think of as "teenage depression." Teenage depression is basically the surge of hormones going through your body as a teenager that causes mood swings, tiredness, and lethargy. It goes away as you age and the hormones settle. You might have this, but you might not. Maybe you have a type of clinical depression. Either way, this doesn't minimize what you are feeling. Both are very real and very hard to go through, and there is no use in hiding how you feel. You're still going to feel like crap, and holding onto it is not going to help you.

Here's the thing. Depression isn't something that just goes away if you ignore it. You can't just sweep it under the rug and pretend that you'll be fine. You need to let it out. When you hold all this inside of you, you are letting it poison you. You are shoving it all up into a little glass bottle, but honey, it's starting to crack. If you keep it up, pretty soon it'll explode, and you'll be left with a lot of damage that is not easy to clean up.

When it comes to gaining confidence, I think you're just going to have to rip off the band-aid. I remember when I told my parents about how I had been feeling. It had felt good to get a little weight off my shoulders. At that time, I'd been holding it all in for almost as long as you have now, so I get it. It's not easy to tell people what you've spent so long trying to hide. Does that make it any less necessary? No, unfortunately. The easy way is not always the best way, and this certainly is true in this case.

In the end, you need to remember that your family and friends love you, and they want the best for you. If you want to seek professional help, that is a very good option. Whatever you decide, and I can't stress this enough, you need to talk about your feelings! It may sound cliché and dumb, but friend, it works wonders. You may not feel like it does at first, but in time you'll see and feel a tremendous difference.

On the same topic, try to focus on the positive side of things. It is not easy, but it is a very good mindset to have. Fun fact: our brains are hardwired to notice and remember the negative things. That's why one negative thing can very easily make us feel like the rest of the day is ruined. When you actively try to focus on the good, you begin to slowly rewire your brain so that that is what it picks up on first.

I hope this helps and I know you have the confidence you need in you. You got this.

Stay strong,

The Advice Column Team