The Advice Column III

584

Advice Request
This person's ex wants to cheat on his current girlfriend with this person.

Answered Submission
Hello!

Being cheated on hurts. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I must say this though: I do not think getting back with your ex—by any means (cheating or not)—is a wise idea, and here's why.

1) He cheated on you. He had no issue going behind your back with another girl, and now he is doing the exact same thing with his new girlfriend. He is showing the same behavior he did when he was dating you, just reversed. Now, I'm not usually a "once a cheater, always a cheater" kind of person, but, honey... he's zero for two right now, that we know of. That is not a person you want to enter into a relationship with.

2) He has already shown that he has commitment issues and zero respect for you. Why do I say that? Well, he cheated on you. He apparently can't stay with one person for very long without feeling contained or restricted. So, instead of breaking up with the girl he's with or just staying single, he chooses to go the coward's route and sneak around. As for the zero respect part: HE CHEATED ON YOU. When you care about someone, you don't go behind their back and look for someone else. When you respect your partner, you're honest with them, even with the hard things. If he respected you, he would have broken up with you before going after the other girl. It still sucks, but at least he would have been honest.

3) He has a girlfriend, and no matter your feelings towards her, cheating with her boyfriend is a low blow for anyone. It's just wrong. Is that really the type of person you want to be? Don't stoop to your ex's level. Honey, you said it yourself, you don’t want her to get hurt the way he hurt you. I'm glad. Let's keep it that way.

Now, what should you do? This is not an easy thing because there are so many directions you could go. If I were in your situation, I wouldn't be on "good terms" with the person who cheated on me. Forgive him, sure, but I wouldn't be friends after that. Alas, I can't make you do anything, and we can't change the past. I would suggest that you at least make it clear that you will not help him cheat, and if you still want to get back with him, then wait until he decides to break up with his current girlfriend. In the end, it's all up to you, friend. I hope this helps!

Stay strong,

The Advice Column Team