The Advice Column III

557

Advice Request
This person has just ended a relationship.

Answered Submission
Hello,

Breakups are difficult in any situation, so what you did was a brave decision, and the right decision. No-one should be in a relationship where one person is emotionally manipulative or uses anything about you against you, so it was the right decision for you. In this situation, you have to think about yourself, because your health and happiness is important.

Since your friend knows about it and you can’t tell your parents yet, I would suggest having your friend around as much as you can and to talk to her about anything that happens. Something else that you could do is talk with your ex and tell her that you don’t appreciate the ominous threatening messages. If you do this, it might also be a good idea to have your friend with you. If there’s anyone else that you can tell about it and have around you for support, then let them know—even if you only tell them that you broke up and nothing else.

Another thing you could possibly do is, if your ex has any friends that you can talk to about it, tell them about the breakup and what she’s like, and ask them to keep an eye on her—just so she doesn’t do anything that could be considered stupid or dangerous. Obviously, this would only be something you should do if you have previously been friends with her friends and they understand what she is like. If they are on her side and you speak to them, things might get worse.

Aside from talking to people and gathering support around you, you can also ignore any messages or anything that she sends to you because eventually she will grow bored of it and stop. You shouldn’t have to keep going through any emotional manipulation. No-one should go through that at any time in their life, relationship or breakup. Remember to think about your own happiness and health and put that first.

I hope this helps,

The Advice Column Team