The Advice Column III

541

Advice Request

The requestor is stuck between their friends.

Answered Submission

Hello!

I'm sorry to hear about all the drama going on in your friend group right now. I know it's not at all easy for anyone.

After reading through your request, there was one thing that really stuck out to me. You seem to immerse yourself in the drama, perhaps without even knowing you're doing it. You pick sides, and when things like this happen, that's one of the worst things to do. When you pick sides, that means you are no longer impartial. You have become biased towards one party and have thus thrown yourself into the middle of the ring. Once you're there, it is very, very difficult to get out. For example, you chose to side with Faith in her issues with CJ, and things have escalated. Now, Gracie and Hope are a part of this whole Round Table of Drama, and you are right in the middle of it. You may not have problems with the girls like they do with each other, but because you entered the room and put your opinions on the table, you have now become another player in this mean game.

My point in that whole paragraph is to say that picking sides is not a good way to show support for your friends. Be there for them, yes, but don't bring yourself into their problems. In the end, it doesn't usually work out for the best for anyone involved.

Unfortunately, it is a bit too late for you to do that, so we'll focus on what we can do. First, I'd suggest that you do your best to take a step back from the whole situation. Remove yourself from the table, then support from the sidelines. Your friends do not need anyone else to fight their battles. They can handle themselves perfectly fine on their own. Instead, be the shoulder to lean on when they need it. Give them any advice you have that has helped you in the past (or direct them to us), and then stay there.

As for Hope's secret, you promised not to tell anyone. That's a tough bind you've gotten yourself into. I completely understand your desire to help your friends and tell her what you found out, but you have to watch where you step here. It's a slippery slope. Ultimately, I don't think it's your place to tell Gracie about it. The truth always finds a way out, so I am sure she'll know later on, but right now, there is nothing more you can really do.

In the end, when it comes to friend drama, I believe it is best to stay neutral. I know sometimes we want to intervene and help out, but most of the time intervening is not as helpful as we would like and only gets us into trouble. I hope this helps!

Stay strong,

The Advice Column Team