The Advice Column III

585

Advice Request
This person's friend seems to be having crush on the same person they have.

Answered Submission
Hello,

It’s unfortunate to notice a cycle like this, especially when it is your friend who is involved. I assume that since you’ve noticed this cycle that you are telling your friend about the crush that you have and then she expresses that she likes them too? If this is the case and you want to break the cycle, then something that you could do is wait a while until you tell your friend about a crush that you have – use that to get to know your crush and tell them how you feel and then tell you friend about it. If it works, then the cycle should stop.

It might just be a coincidental thing that your friend happens to be liking the same person as you; you are friends, so you’re bound to have things in common and that includes the people you like, unfortunately.

Have you spoken to your friend about how you feel? You should talk to her and explain how you feel and how their actions make you feel.

These things are bound to happen with anyone. Even people who aren’t your friends are likely to like the same person as you and something that you should also consider is that if you aren’t getting to know your crush as much as someone else is, or if you aren’t expressing to your crush that you like them, then they’re likely to start getting to know and start a relationship with someone else who is expressing how they feel and using their time to talk to them. And I know this might sound a bit harsh, but at the end of the day, you might have a crush on someone who doesn’t like you back, and they might happen to like your friend back which is why it might seem like a cycle of your friend getting to them first.

Of course, you deserve love and happiness, and that will come to you in its own time. Everyone’s happiness and love happens at different times, and it might feel like you aren’t getting anything, but someone will come along soon enough.

Speak to your friend, talk to your crush a little more and get to know them and remember that whilst you might like someone, they might not like you back which could be a reason why your friend gets them.

I hope this helps,
The Advice Column Team