Project: Socialize (Chapters 1-197)

110. I am a Scum

After she had took her many medications, the symptoms of her disease seemed to have been quelled as color gradually was restored to her face. Although her body was still weak, the smile returned to her face once again and she was able to move her body about in the usual manner. She was able to sit up on her bed, and I stayed by her side by sitting on a chair that I had pulled over to the side of the bed.
  
"Are you alright?" I asked, feeling that agonizing melancholy once again.

"Yeah," she said in her usual lively voice. "I just didn't take my medications on time."

I quietly stared at her face as she spoke. For some reason, I felt as if she was lying. After seeing her without any medications, I felt as if the Luna that sat before me was merely an illusion. It's a lie. It's a gentle and sweet lie that I would rather believe to be the truth than any other grim reality. However, a lie will always remain a lie. Someone who will eventually die will never miraculously recover. That only happens in fairy tales...

She was still undressed, with the only fabric concealing her nude body from my eyes being that maroon towel she had wrapped around her body. Because of this, she sat in a position so that she concealed as much of her thighs as possible while facing me.

"I'm feeling better now," she said in her usual smiling manner. Her words did indeed seemed to have a greater sense of vitality and vigor in them, but... it was still insufficient to erase that devastating memory of her that had already carved itself into my bones. "So cheer up. Stop having that mourning look on your face. I'm not dead yet."

I didn't laugh or even allow the corner of my lips to be lifted by this unfunny joke that she made. I knew that she was trying her best to cheer me up, but... I don't think I can with how things are at the moment.

Luna seemed to have noticed this, as her smile slowly disappeared as well, losing the energy and emotion that supported it. What replaced it was a faint smile that was merely held up by a sense of sadness as she probably noticed that the bubble has burst.

"I've been like this for quite some time now," she said in a softer and more soothing voice than before. She was also no longer forcing herself to be energetic. "Even before I met you, I've been like this. I can only be the Luna that everyone knows after taking my medications."

"..." I remained silent as I sat there in melancholy and listened.

"So there's really no aggravations in my condition," she whispered. "My life span is still the same length."

She then glanced over at me, softly gazing into my eyes. In the sparkling amber eyes of her's, I could sense a great gentleness, one that tormented me. It was the knowledge that those shining amber eyes of her's, those same eyes that drew me out of my abyss and into the light, will eventually lose its light and slowly fade away from this world that pained me. She will die in the near future; the exact time being an unknown. However, the limit is certain. The most she could live for is until next summer, which is graduation... And yet... I will have to continue on without her.

"Alevian," she said. Her voice once again regained its energy as she smiled while looking at me. "Can you turn around?"

"Huh?"

"I need to put on some clothes," she said. "Or would you rather see me like this?"

She looked down at her naked body that was covered with the towel that she had wrapped around her. My eyes followed her gaze but I quickly looked away. On her face, I noticed a playful smile as she was amused by my reaction.

"F-fine," I stuttered as I got up from my chair and went to the corner of the room. What I saw before me was the beige color of the wall, but I closed my eyes for that extra security.