Project: Socialize (Chapters 1-197)

179. Her Diary

June 14, 582 A.C.

So I broke up with him today finally after being told that I only have one more year left in my life. It's rather...sad and depressing to go on without him, but I know this is for the best. Hopefully, my last year in this world can be a memorable one. As for this diary, I don't know who I will give it to. Maybe mom and dad? Maybe even him. I don't know. But all I do know at the moment is that I want to record what I had experienced in this final year of my life. Well, whoever is reading this after I died, then I wanna say congratulations. You're the most important person in my life (or at least one of the most important people).

From the looks of it, the early entries in her diary were merely recounts of what she had experienced, short stories of her life. They were extremely usual, like what I would imagine a high school girl would be doing. Activities such as going shopping with Erith, or spending time with friends at the movies, they were all activities and behaviors that no one would even suspect that she would even be suffering from an illness. Life just...appeared extremely normal for her.

Oct 4, 582 A.C.

The School Festival committee meetings went on as usual today. However, something interesting had happened. Someone apparently tried to sabotage the works of another group. However, that isn't what is the most interesting. Someone in the class representatives caught my eye. He just has this tired look in his eye, yet there seemed to be an intense fire burning within him. It was as if he was planning for a revenge against whoever did this to them. How admirable.

The next few entries were basically her recounts of what had occurred that time when those two girls had stolen the request forms from Irina's bag. Thinking back on it, it felt like a long time ago, yet it was simply three months ago. That's the crazy part. I've actually only known her for a few months, yet... it is in these three months that I've changed the most in the entirety of my life.

Oct 15, 582 A.C.

So today, I spent the day with Alevian, the boy that had caught my eye during the meetings. It was simply an accident that I just so happened to bump into him, but we talked and I discovered that he's an interesting person. Despite his cold and lazy countenance, he's actually surprisingly considerate. Well, that is just my initial observations after all. However, deep down, I can sense that he's a nice person.

Oct 16, 582 A.C.

Went to the party tonight. Everyone seemed to have enjoyed themselves, but I'm a bit too tired for all the wildness.

Tonight, I also told someone about my condition. It was Alevian. As for the reason why? It' just that I find him extremely interesting. I just feel like I am never bored when around him. Even though I had only known him for a few days, I trust him to keep it a secret. I've confirmed that he's a nice person already. He also has an extremely gentle heart that one would not believe had existed within him.

...

Oct 21, 582 A.C.

Today, I went to the mall with him. It's actually quite weird how fast our relationship has been progressing, but I'm not complaining. Being with him really soothes my mind about my future. But something had come up recently that bothered me. It's that how will he deal with my passing? The reason why I had thought of telling him was that he's so gentle, yet he wasn't the type to truly care at heart what happens to other people. Yet, today when we were at the mall, he seemed to be extremely sad about my fate.

His countenance was one of great melancholy, and it was actually extremely difficult for me to look at as it elicited my suppressed fears of death. Like really, I was actually quite frightened about it, but I was also touched by this behavior of his. It made my eyes tear up when I knew that he actually cared that much about me to the point that I had to conceal it by laughing. It was a fake laugh, one that lacked any genuine amusement and in its place was a sense of insecurity and fear. Yet, seeing how it made him cheer up, that was all that mattered to me at the moment.