counting change | yoonminseok

101

"They're really nice people."

"So are your friends," Sungwoon said smiling as he looked back at Jimin. "You know I really was worried that you closed yourself off from everyone with what they had told me but it seems like you're just avoiding them, especially with what you said to Yoongi before we left."

"You heard that?"

"I was passing by and happened to." He said sighing as he looked back at the television and adjusted himself on the couch. "I didn't bring it up on the car ride since I didn't want my grandparents around to hear."

Jimin just nodded in response staring back at the television. Sungwoon's grandparents were unpacking stuff in the other rooms of the apartment hoping they could settle in easier. Sungwoon had offered to help but they immediately refused and said he shouldn't be carrying heavy boxes in his state.

"It's just I know they won't think lesser of me if I tell them everything that happened but I keep thinking of worst case scenarios. Like what if they don't want to date me figuring out that Bon Hwa forced himself on me? I know I didn't consent to it but what if they think I'm a cheater and they want to break up with me? I don't want that to happen, I really love them."

"I don't know Hoseok and Yoongi super well but it's obvious that they immensely care about you. They would never think wrongly of you for something that wasn't even your fault, they're just worried about you."

"I just don't want them to look at me differently, you know? The look people give you when they figure out you've been through something bad."

"The look?"

"Pity," Jimin said as he kept his gaze on the carpet trying to avoid looking back at Sungwoon. "Like when they first confronted me about not eating they were looking at me like I would break with the slightest comment and made sure to watch what they were saying. I panicked so much I ended up slipping into little space but I'm not even sure I can do that anymore."

"You can't slip into little space?

"I haven't been able to. I always would feel the need to slip whenever I'd see a stuffed animal but I just don't anymore? I felt sick when Hoseok referred to me as Jiminie and was uncomfortable seeing Jungkook in little space. I've always just been able to slip into little space when I needed to destress and the fact that I just can't is a bit scary." Jimin said as Sungwoon grabbed his hand giving him a comforting squeeze. "The thought of little space makes me think of what Bon Hwa did and I just-"

Before he could finish his statement Jimin found himself choking back on his tears trying to calm himself. Sungwoon hurried and pulled him into a hug to comfort him which the younger greatly appreciated. As he began to calm down he noticed how Sungwoon's arms seemed to be less bony showing that he had started to gain weight. The boy couldn't help but smile seeing how his friend was already on the path to recovery but glanced down at his own hands and frowned seeing how he still had such a long ways to go. 

"Hey, it's okay,"  Sungwoon said as he got Jimin back to focusing on him instead of his weight. "Thanks to all the evidence and testimony I gave he's going to be behind bars for a long time and nobody else will have to worry about that psychopath."

"Really? The police didn't even ask me about it.  I kind of was dreading having to deal with that."

"They already had enough evidence for him to be guilty. Plus an incident happened at the first police station your friends went to so they agreed to keep silent about that if they didn't question you about everything. I did hear that the girl they talked to there got fired though."

Jimin couldn't help but smile thinking about how his friends had made sure that he wouldn't have to go through that. They knew that he was trying to avoid talking about it and small things that reminded him about it. 

"I don't want them to be hurt but I don't think I can handle talking to them about everything right now."

"And that's perfectly fine, I'm sure they'll wait as long as it takes. They'll always be there for you. I don't want to make you feel rushed to open up and  talk about it with them but I can promise as soon as you get it off your chest and are able to talk about it you'll feel so much better."

Before anything else could be said a knock was heard on the door and Sungwoon looked back and yelled saying the person could come in. 

"Your friends are here to check in on you, Jimin." Sungwoon's grandma said as she opened the door and smiled at the two boys. "Do you want me to let them in?"

"If you could that would be great."

The lady hummed in response as she left the room to go grab them leaving Sungwoon alone with Jimin once again.

"Do you plan to spend the night here or go back with your boyfriends?"

"I don't know," he replied frowning. "I didn't think about that."

Going back with his boyfriends seemed like that would be the best option for his relationship but he couldn't help but feel uneasy about that. He didn't want to go back there and have to think about everything that had happened in that apartment, like receiving a text from Bon Hwa and throwing his phone to trying to drown himself as a punishment. 

Staying at his own apartment definitely was a no, he wasn't even sure he'd ever be able to handle going back there. Which also took Taehyung and Jungkook's apartment out of his options too, he especially didn't want to be around them in case little space ended up being brought up and he never had fully talked to them about him still having an eating disorder.

Thinking about the fact that he had an eating disorder made Jimin shiver. He didn't like labeling himself with something as heavy as that but recognizing the problem was the first step in solving it.

"Jimin?" The said boy looked back seeing his boyfriends there smiling at him and Jin and Namjoon behind them. "We already dropped Taehyung and Jungkook off at their house. It was on the way here and they said they had to deal with something at their jobs."

"It's fine."

An awkward atmosphere seemed to set over the room as nobody really knew what to say. Sungwoon seemed to make himself create small talk with the guests while Jimin simply sat there not really listening to the conversation. Hoseok and Yoongi both couldn't help but feel dejected seeing that their boyfriend didn't wish to talk to them but made sure to keep their distance respecting what Jimin wanted.

"Well we just wanted to check in on Jimin to make sure he doing good here," Yoongi said as he glanced at his youngest boyfriend who still was refusing to make eye contact with him. "He's staying here tonight, right?"

It was a simple question but it still made Jimin tense up not knowing how to respond. Sungwoon had nudged him showing that he obviously didn't plan to answer for him. You need to make progress Jimin though to himself trying to hurry and make a decision Sungwoon already is doing such a great job making progress and you need to as well.

"N-no," Jimin said as he glanced at Sungwoon who seemed surprised at his response. He looked at his other friends seeing how surprised they were as well and gulped as he looked back down at his hands. "I was wondering if I c-could stay the night with Jin and Namjoon hyung instead."

Everybody seemed shocked with what Jimin had said, especially his boyfriends. They knew that he was fairly acquainted with Jin but out of everyone he could have asked to spend the night with he chose the two people he was the least familiar with.

"Of course you can spend the night with us Jimin, we don't mind."

The boy nodded in response as he got up seeing Sungwoon smiling at him. He couldn't help but feel glad about how happy the older was seeing that he chose not to take the easy route and stay the night with him, he really wanted to push himself to make progress.

"I'll see you at therapy tomorrow, Sungwoon hyung."

-

I've been trying to get the splits and I still haven't been able to get them no matter how much stretching I do which is kind of a bummer. But I'm going to be persistent and keep working towards getting them!