counting change | yoonminseok

106

Jimin had been getting better at eating but not at a pace he wanted to. 

There would be moments he'd be able to eat at least half a salad but then spend the rest of the day crying as he would uncontrollably purge it back up. And then there'd be days he would try eating even more but cry realizing he physically couldn't make himself be at the level he wanted to be at.

He just wanted to look at food and not feel disgusting for wanting to eat it.

He did feel a lot better after telling Jin some of those things that had been bugging him and the elder seemed to always be there for him. They even had gone and got him a new phone so he could start over with a new number and everything.

Technically he had heard the two saying Yoongi had bought it for him but he didn't question them about it. That meant that Hoseok and Yoongi for sure knew his real number but hadn't messaged him as he had made it seem like he wanted space.

Which was true but at the same time he desperately wanted to be with them and have them assure that they still loved him. He didn't want to make the first move but he knew he had to and he would feel much better afterwards. It had been almost two weeks since he had been staying with Namjoon and Jin and he felt like he couldn't keep pushing things off and staying here.  

"Are you sure you'll be okay here alone, Jimin?" 

"Of course," the younger said smiling as he looked to see both Jin and Namjoon getting ready to leave. He was sitting at the table trying to slowly make his way through a salad but as time ticked on it was beginning to seem like an impossible task. "Hyung, I'll be fine. You guys just go."

The two seemed antsy to accept what he said but eventually began to get ready again. They hadn't told the younger what they were leaving for but he already figured out what this date entailed.

It was Bon Hwa's trial.

He knew he wasn't expected to show up, they already had enough evidence and Sungwoon there as a victim. So they all were leaving to watch as the criminal was going behind bars while Jimin stayed by himself. 

He didn't want to see Bon Hwa. He didn't want to think about how he forced himself on him, how he had shoved him in a suitcase, and how his skin burned. He would be able to feel the older's eyes on him basically undressing him and making him feel so vulnerable. Seeing him would make him feel as disgusting as he did when he was kidnapped and want to relapse into old habits he taught him. He was trying to make progress and was scared being around him would result in him going back to step one.

So it had been decided he was going to stay while everyone else handled it. Except a nagging voice in the back of his head kept telling him that this was his one chance to see Bon Hwa again, how was he to have closure over everything if he kept himself hidden away?

That's what Bon Hwa wanted him to do. He wanted him to feel weak and hide himself from everyone. He wanted the younger to feel the need to be able to outline his ribs and puke at the mention of calories. 

So it was a gamble but Jimin still shakingly pulled out his phone dialing Sungwoon's number. The number only seemed to ring once when the call was immediately answered.

"Hey, Sungwoon?" Jimin said taking a deep breath as he looked at his salad that he had almost halfway eaten. He was sure this was the gamble he needed to take, there was no way he was going to improve if he didn't at least try this. "I need you to pick me up."

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Do you guys have a SNSD bias? Mine's Yuri~