𝑇𝑜𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝐶𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 ~ 𝓥𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓴𝓸𝓸𝓴 ~ 𝑀𝑎𝑓𝑖𝑎 𝐴𝑈

🅚🅘🅛🅛🅘🅝🅖 🅢🅟🅡🅔🅔 pt IV

“Your father is the fucker you wanna kill, right?” Taehyung asked and Jimin nodded, Taehyung nodded back as if assuring him silently that he'll help him. He felt as if he hated the man just as mush as Jimin hated him. He deserved hatred and to Taehyung, he didn't deserve to live either, just pure waste of oxygen.

“You wanna avenge your mom’s death, right? How did the police not catch him, even when he had a witness who was you? You could've sent him to rot in jail with a simple call.”

“He threatened to kill me if I don't help him hide the body. He said that if anyone find the corpse, he'd say that I killed her and it'd be his word against mine, and that I'd be considered an accomplice if he got caught. I was so scared, I-I didn't know what to do so I helped him and didn't say a word about it.. You're the first person I tell.” Jimin said and he felt conflicted, as if even if put again in the same situation, he'd still not know what to do at all.

Taehyung found it highly concerning that he didn't really utter a word about it for five years, even when his father wasn't around anymore, it seemed as if he was still scared of him.

“Well, guess who'll fucking die now.” Taehyung said sarcastically. “I'll teach you how to commit a perfect murder, but we won't start with your father. I need you to practice first. Can you use a knife?” Taehyung asked because Jimin had mentioned something about him being uncomfortable with knives to Taehyung before and he guessed that he knew why.

It's because Jimin was traumatized, because he was once close to dying with the same knife he watched his father kill his mother with. Taehyung would be surprised if Jimin didn't suffer from post traumatic stress disorder or at least severe anxiety, or some sort of phobia, and he was right.

“I can't, they scare me. Once, I had a panic attack and.. Yeah you were there. That day when Hoseok thought it was a funny idea to threaten me with a knife.” Jimin said and Taehyung looked suddenly furious. Those dumb punks, if he had the chance to turn back in time and beat the crap out of them, he would.

“Yeah I remember, I actually understood at some point that you weren't with us, that you were trembling and crying because of whatever monster was inside your head and it was the first time in ages I felt bad for someone. I told them to leave you alone, so many times, but they didn't listen, and well, I never knew how I felt towards you either. I thought I was too far gone to even have emotions anymore and they always complained about me being so emotionless, dumb little worthless fucks.”

“Don't you love your friends?” Jimin asked, confused again and Taehyung smiled and it was again almost sarcastic, as if it was stupid asking him about feelings.

He didn't feel, he couldn't remember the last time he felt anything other than hatred, envy or anger towards everyone and everything. Yoongi had always been an exception, and Jimin was the second exception too far and he didn't know whether it was a good or a bad thing.

“No, we just get along. I rarely feel anything, or I could say it takes me so long to feel and even when I do, they're foggy, shallow and brief. I was with them ’coz they were easy to manipulate, also ’coz they benefited me in some type of way. I don't even know anymore to be honest ’coz I felt bad when you said you tortured ’em but it lasted only for a minute and now I don't care at all once again, and I think they deserved it. Do you think that proves I'm a psychopath Jimin?”

“I don't care what you are, be a psychopath or whatever, I care about you.” Jimin said and Taehyung smiled, genuinely. It felt good that someone cared about him even after knowing what he truly was and it was wrong, loving him was wrong and he knew it because when he said he hated humanity, his own self was also included and he hated himself probably more than he hated everybody else. It was ironic how anger and hatred seemed to be the only emotions he was capable of feeling.