ㅡ YOONGI'S POV ㅡ
《Please don't die! Please don't you dare to die!》
I was screaming and praying as the doctors rushed Chaerin on the bed in the emergency room. As soon as the doors close, sucking Chaerin into the room, my body becomes like gelatin, I have to sit.
I take my face in my hands, I'm a jerk. It's my fault. She was hit by that damn car because of me. And now ... she risk to lose her baby. What have I done?
Please, if there is a God, let both her and the baby be save. I could never bear to be responsible for another death in my life.
Hours pass, I asked nurses who were passing by if they could tell me something but nobody knew anything yet. Whatever they were doing, it was lasting a long time, it s night; I didn't leave for a moment since they brought her in. I won't leave her now.
My tired body was sitting without emotion in the chair, I had spent more time crying now than in my whole life. Who would have ever imagined that I would end up crying because of Kim Chaerin?
She has certainly has a big impact in my life.
《Are you a family member of Kim Chaerin?》
I jump to my feet when a nurse approaches me with a folder in his hand.
《Yes, I am her boyfriend.》
I look at the woman with eyes marked by bags of fatigue. I am exasperated and thirsty to know something.
I don't care if I had to tell some lie to know how she was, if I said I was nothing to her they wouldn't tell me anything.
《How is she? And the baby? Are they both safe? Please tell me something.》I speak in bursts, impatient to know, but afraid to receive.
《Are you the baby's father?》
Before answering, I reflect a little.
Fuck it.
《Yes I am.》
The nurse changes expression. He puts a hand on my shoulder that I would like to throw. An omen of something bad.
《Unfortunately, the baby didn't make it. The impact with the car has-》
My brain turns off. My arms fall dead along my hips. I step back until I lose my balance and fall on the chair. I don't hear anything from what he was saying. His words become like clouds of smoke that evaporate.
《Where is she now?》I ask in a sigh.
《They took her to a room, she had to face an operation, she is under anesthesia. You can visit her but be discreet.》
The nurse leads me to Chaerin's room. It's dark, my eyes setting a little before seeing the figure of Chaerin lying on the bed. She had various things attached to her body that I didn't know what they were for.
I approach the bed and hold all my tears. My mind keeps telling me it's my fault. That I did this to her. I hurt her too much in her life; why do I keep hurting her? Why?
Tears had started to fall, sobs leaked from my lips, I squeeze her hand in mine, but first I take a chair and put it next to her bed. I would have stayed beside her all night.
At any cost.
And so I do, I stay up all night, she is still sleeping. I see the sun outside timidly coming out to announce another day. But I wish this day had never existed. If only I hadn't come back ... all of this wouldn't have happened.
If only...
I keel away the dark thoughts that haunt me.
《Yoongi?》her hoarse voice wakes me from my reflection.
《Where am I?》her eyes wander around confused.
Her eyes widen, as if she had remembered what had happened. She tries to sit up with her arms but a wail of pain escapes her.
《Stop, you can't overdue yourself.》
《What-what ...》 she freezes. Her eyes roam the room, lifeless. Her breath becomes trembling and irregular.
Immediately after, she glances at her belly, touches it with her open hand, but realizes that something is wrong. She mumbles a few nonsense words, tears threatening to come out of her eyes.
《Chaerin ...》 my heart tightens.
《I- I have been hit, by a car.》 Her breaths get faster, she tightens my hand. I was standing in front of her. Memories invest her in one shot.
《Tae-taemin!》 Sobs came out of her lips, impending to say the name of her son, her face marked by tears.
《Taemin ... he, he didn't make it.》
As soon as I pronounce the sentence her eyes fix on me. Wide open, it's as if I could see the pain inside her that was beginning to consume her right now. At this very moment.
She still and tries to speak but fails, her mouth wide open, but then she loses it. She lost what little control she had. She cries uncontrollably. I hold her close to me, in my arms, as she screams her son's name on my chest.
《Forgive me ...》 I keep repeating while she is shaking and clinging to me. I cry with her. I keep asking for forgiveness.
How can I describe the pain of a girl, a mother who loses her unborn child? A creature which did not even have the chance to know his mother, to know what the oxygen tastes like or to feel the comforting heat of the sun.
I'll stay with her and help her heal. I will no longer be afraid, I will no longer hesitate. I wish I could take her pain and put it in my heart, take charge of everything and free her from all this. I will kiss away her tears from her face.
But I have to pay for my choices.
It's my fault. I will never hesitate again. I will no longer hesitate for her.
《I promise to stay with you, always.》
ㄱ
End flashback
ㄴ
《My God Chaerin ... I'm so sorry.》 Soyon was crying, her hand in front of her mouth.
She sniffs and hands me a handkerchief. I was crying too. Remembering all that has happened is always traumatic. After a while we recover both.
《So you never found out who the father is?》
I move my head in denial as I wipe my tears.
I notice that her gaze often shifted from me to behind me as I spoke, even before.
At one point Soyon approaches me and whispers to me.
《There is a girl behind you, who has been staring at you for a while.》
I turn around and see who the girl is.
Yerin.
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●
My heart hurts. Bye.
Hope you liked the chapter. Did it hurt you as much it hurt me writing it?
Also, I'm translating the chapter half asleep and tired af. So if there is any typo or wrong things just bare with it for now lol.
Oh and one of the maknae will come back soon, next chapter lol. Guess who.
Thanks for reading, and as always, leave a vote if you want~ 💜
Adios,
ㅡHeartphilia
PS.
Is IG working for yall in this exact moment? I don't understand if it's my internet or IG that's fucked up.
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𝑱𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝑺𝒆𝒙, 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕? ➳ 𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒏𝒆 🔞
Fanfiction[English is not my first language, sorry for any grammatical error.] It all starts from a simple dare. Chaerin likes to play with them. Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook, will they play along? What will happen if they all join the game? It's supposed to...
