𝑱𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝑺𝒆𝒙, 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕? ➳ 𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒏𝒆 🔞

56 | my last breath

⚠️Trigger warning⚠️ // in this chapter you will see a fairly detailed attempt to suicide, if this is a sensitive topic for you it's better if you don't read it.

[This episode occurs after Chaerin has left. And for those with a good memory, it happened after Jungkook and Taehyung vacation in the summer. When JK asked Tae to go on vacation with him and his parents.]

ㅡ Taehyung's POV ㅡ

I'm in the middle of some remote place, on the edge of the city in a wood known for suicides. For some reason, this place is a hotbed for people who want to put an end.

I feel heaviness, not physical, not mental. But on the chest, precisely on the heart.

One of my demons has been released. He decided to sit in my heart. He doesn't want to leave, he wants to make me feel bad and make me suffer.

His nails are sinking into my flesh, my heart, the poison enters, intoxicating everything, it makes everything black: my heart, my veins, my blood my thoughts ...

It doesn't matter what people say. It never has value, they will always tell you phrases like:

"I'll always be there for you"

"I will always be by your side"

"Call me when you need, I'll run to you"

So why isn't that so? Why don't you answer me? Why did you decide to abandon me? Why?

Why do you say these things even if you don't think of them? Or maybe you believe them and you feel them at the moment, but then you forget.

I believed it, I believed you Chaerin.

All I wanted was to be with you. Simple as that. I had a taste of love; a taste of your love. That love that I thought you felt too, but I built it myself, in my mind. Your caresses, kisses, the looks you reserved for me made me believe it. But in reality, I interpreted them as I wanted.

Yes, maybe you loved me, in your way. But we have two different ways of loving. Me, a boy who had never tried it, fell in love with a girl who had already been hurt and consumed by love.

My hand trembles looking at the illuminated screen, its name decorated with the tears that have fallen from me. When I press the green button after a while the voice mail starts.

It hurts so much. Demon, can you go away and set me free? Please...

No, it doesn't go away. More is added. He sinks deeper and deeper with his nails inside me, his hands sucking inside until he completely immerses himself in it. His black poison is replacing my red blood completely.

The only man I trusted. The only man who was always by my side, despite the bullshit I did.
The only man who truly loved me.

He too is gone. My father.

Does it makes sense to continue ...

... to live?

No.

Too much pain. I can not handle it. Too much to bear inside me. It's all confused, I see all black. I don't know what to think. I don't feel anything physically. But inside I have too much pain. Yes, I only feel that.

My ears whistle, my heart beats hard in the chest as if realizing that those were the last beats. My swollen eyes pinch me to death.

I get out of my car, the night air is cold, it seems to me that it's freezing the tears on my cheeks. One comes down, hangs on my chin, falls on the dirt and damp floor, it was raining until recently.