𝑱𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝑺𝒆𝒙, 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕? ➳ 𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒏𝒆 🔞

69 | dicks, viginas... & drama

ㅡ Chaerin's POV ㅡ

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I whispered I love you and actually meant: I don't want you to leave.

(Inspired by rupi kaur's milk and honey).

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He is gone again.

I haven't cried since that day. It doesn't really hurt that much right now. I don't feel anything, it's as if I have already become used to this feeling. As if someone gave me a painkiller for feelings.

Jin didn't explain anything to me, in fact, he too left a few days later, like Namjoon. A piece of my past has completely disappeared as if they had never been part of my life. Again.

By now he will be laughing at me, the pathetic girl who loved him despite the bad things he did to me in the past. Chaerin is a stupid girl who always falls for it, she is too naive. Words were spoken by him once. I got screwed again, and it's only my fault.

He made me believe that he had changed, that he really wanted to try it with me again. Fuck, trusted him so much. I defended him from everyone, I suffered the judgments of all my friends and the anger of Hwasa.

But who can I blame if not me who continues to trust people?

I'm the one who made mistakes with everyone. Maybe I deserve all this.

He made me a girl who was insensitive to feelings. I ignored everyone's heart, Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook ... just because he had hurt me so much the first time by leaving when I needed him most. I had become apathetic and careless, I was only interested in fucking men, it was just sex.

Then he came back, overturning everything. Overturning me. And then the switch that he had deactivated was reactivated by his own hands.

He stayed with me when I was waiting for my Taemin, came with me on hospital visits, took care of me as if he was expecting his son. He kissed and caressed my belly as if Taemin were his, he spoke to him in the stupid little voice that parents make when they talk to their children. And that was what made me believe I could trust him.

So why commit so much and then leave without an explanation, like the first time?

All these months of redemption, demonstrations of love, promises.
For nothing.

I even met his parents.
For nothing.

《Chaerin?》 Hwasa appears in the doorway and enters, sitting on my bed with one leg bent.

《Wheein and Jimin are here to spend some time together, wanna join?》 Her sweet voice makes me understand how much she wants me to accept.

I desperately need to be with myself, alone. But I don't want to deny her this favour.
《Okay, I'll join》

She smiles cheerfully at me and takes my hand in hers, caresses it affectionately as she looks at them. Gives a kiss on my back, if she continues like this I will start to cry. It's a gesture that my mother always did and she knows it.

《When you're in pieces, don't ask yourself if you've been enough, the problem was that you were so much that he couldn't handle it.》 (inspired by rupi kaur's milk and honey).

A lump forms in my throat. 《Hwasa ...》

I don't deserve a friend like her. Before leaving she hugs me tightly.