Dangerous Fiancee

Chapter 88

As he couldn't stand it anymore, he drank melted opium, but he couldn't remember how he had fallen asleep since then. He tried his best to recall what happened.

Kloud's voice and Curtis's glance. The feeling of his fever going down little by little. Cool serenity. Sleep coming on. The sense of walking in the air and the bottomless darkness.

Nowhere in his memory was Marianne. Nevertheless, he could imagine her expressions, eyes, and voice.

What if she entered the room the moment he was awake?

She must have had worried about him. With a sad expression, she would feel bitter and bite her lip, and her green eyes would be filled with resentment and affection.

Then she would've probably shouted at him like this: "Your Majesty, why didn't you tell me anything until you ended up being in this sorry state? You promised to tell me anything honestly, right? If you had told me sooner, I could have helped you earlier. You are really stubborn!"

Her distinctive voice was vivid in his ears. Not content with that, she would have forced him to take medicine, lie down, and go to sleep. She would have waited by his side while he was sleeping. Without caring at all about others or complex political calculations, she would only wish he could sleep soundly, hoping to lessen his pain just a little bit.

How much courage would it take for her to do this? How good and sweet should she be for this?

Eckart made a bitter smile after he realized he was lost in such idle thoughts.

He gave up unconditional love and trust for a long time. His beautiful and vain faith that goodwill and affection would turn the impossible into the possible didn't keep him.

So, he vowed that he would never rely on such fragile feelings again. He wanted to live by giving up all hope and human desires. While leading such a life, he wanted to keep his mother's will to moderately follow the destiny of the Emperor, and hope to leave this world one day without any regrets.

But this woman was ruining everything too dangerously and too enchantingly.

He stroked her cheeks gently as she was asleep. His large hand that almost covered her face created a dark shade. While his tender hand moved along her facial lines, he recalled the fact that realities that were so heavy that he wanted to forget.

"Karl. Promise me you will survive no matter what happens."

That was her mother's desperate wish.

"Above all, I want you to have a happy family."

That was the vain hope that those officials close to him had.

"Do you want Lennox, too?"

He still thought about the shadow of his father that he had not yet removed.

The more he got stuck in it, that would be his weakness. He would rely on it and believe.

He would be obsessed with it and hang on to it. He would give up more in order not to lose.

He was not sure if he had already reached that point.

He knew well about the symptoms of mysophobia that he had. It was a tower soaring toward the sky that he was afraid to dare to see from a distance. A lone divinity that was so far from the earth would be good not to obey the laws on it.

But all the things on the top were at the risk of falling so easily.

'If I go any further here, it'll be dangerous. It might be really irreversible for me...I think I had better let go of her at this point...'