Full Exclusive Rights (bxb)

35. Biscotto Della Nonna

   Everybody's just left. I'm closing the door behind them.

   I'm nervous, really, really nervous.

   I'm hectically recounting my life in my head.

   After two years and eight months of solitude and anxiety, I moved to a country, nine thousand kilometers in a straight line away from Japan, on another continent, with a language that I'd never learn. I came here alone, without my family, knowing only three people - my best friend Emma and her parents. I was scared that I'd be in a cultural shock, lonely and isolated.

   But I'm not.

   Despite all my fears, I have an apartment on my own, friends I adore and life, full of positive emotions.

   I also have a boyfriend.

   The amazing thing is that he's the kindest, most handsome, self-confident and sexy person I've ever met, and a rock star too. I'm still not sure if it's not just a dream.

   He's crazy about me. I can't understand why, but I'm sure he is.

   And he's waiting for me on the sofa in my living room.

   My hands are trembling. It's the first time we're together alone. I don't know what will happen. I dare not try to figure it out. All I know is that I trust him, but I'm still petrified. I've forgotten what one usually does in such situations. I'll surely mess up everything. I just hope he'll forgive me... again.

   I'm leaning on the door, my eyes closed, taking deep breaths to calm myself. I don't know how long I've been doing it, but suddenly, gentle fingers slide on my cheek.

   "Are you nervous, my lovely?" Em's voice is soft and sweet.

   I open my eyes and see him, smiling at me. The cobalt color of his irises will never cease to amaze me. His long lashes cast shadows on the milky white skin of his cheeks.

   "How can you be so handsome?" I whisper.

   "Well, it's not on purpose," he chuckles, "but I'm really glad you like what you see."

   His thumb slides on my lower lip and makes me gasp. He leans towards me as if to kiss me but only brushes the tip of my nose with his.

   "I don't like you because of your looks," I quickly add. "I mean, you're the most attractive person I've seen, but it's more important that you're so kind, and always seem to know how I feel. I just ..." I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry! I'm so nervous."

   Unlike him. He's completely relaxed, staring at my flushed face, without blinking.

   "I know, love. But you don't have to be."

   He takes my hand, intertwining our fingers and leads me to the living room.

   My Totoro backpack is lying on an armchair.

   Em points at it. "It's your favorite, isn't it? I see you, wearing it often. I wanted to ask you what this creature is. Another Pokémon?"

   I immediately grin. "No, not a Pokémon. This is Totoro. Haven't you watched the movie?"

   He shakes his head. "No, never heard of it. Tell me what it is about."

   "Well, it's a Japanese animation fantasy," I start, already feeling more relaxed while talking about something I like. "It's kind of a cultural icon, not only for kids. The name of the movie is 'となりのトトロ' (Tonari no Totoro)[1]. Totoro is 神 (Kami)[2], a holy spirit, The Master of the forest. It's about two girls who befriend him and he helps them overcome some difficult times in their lives."