Take me home : Natasha Romanoff x fem reader

Pt 3 Chapter 8 - Learning to cope

Y/n's POV

A few more days past and the others were required less for helping with the blip. There were talks of a repatriation plan as things began to move on out of our hands. I was able to walk around much better and taking weaker pain killers for the injury. The general sense of the compound was quiet and mournful. Even though there were people there it was unnervingly quiet. It was mid afternoon and I was making a start on dinner. I had said I would cook a few homemade meals for a few days rather than ordering take away. It was almost a week since the blip so most businesses were semi back in operation. I was cutting onions and Thor was sat beside me with both headphones in. He had barely said anything for the past few days, keeping to himself. I knew he felt guilty, he had failed. But so had the rest of us. I wanted to mourn, or at least feel the loss but I couldn't. Someone would need to keep the spirits high. We had lost people, many people and yet the world was still turning. Our lives would still need to go on.

I became aware of the fact that I hadn't seen Nat in over an hour and curiosity sparked in me as to where she had gone. "Hey Darling?" I thought telepathically. "What are you doing?" I asked and waited for her reply. But it never came. "Tasha?" I asked again... Nothing. I put down my knife and set off to find her. The food could wait. I strode to our room, she was not there. I knocked on the doors of everyone else's room but she was nowhere to be found. I checked the gym next but it was empty, it was only Bruce in the Lab. Cap had gone out to get food and Rhodey had a meeting with someone. I strode around, now calling her name aloud. I bumped into Rocket as I came out of the next room. "Oh shit sorry! Have you seen Natasha?" I asked. He paused to think for a minute.

"Oh yes, she was heading out with a backpack. She had her hair up and training gear on." He informed me.

"And she didn't say where she was going?" Rocket shook his head. "Ok thanks." I mumbled, walking on as I tried to think where she might have gone. My thoughts went to my phone. We had put a tracking app on our phones so if either of us went missing there was a better chance to find each other. I ran back to the kitchen to grab my phone. The app said that Nat was in some sort of ballet studio, I frowned in confusion. Why would she be at a ballet studio? I quickly cleared up the chopped vegetables and headed off to the car. I wasn't really allowed to drive with my back as it was still sore but I didn't care.

I drove to the studio, parking just down the street so she wouldn't notice the black gleaming clean car. Slowly I got out, looking up at the pretty building. I climbed the steps leading to the door and silently went in. I crept through the corridor towards the quiet sound of soft music. I stepped carefully cautious of the wooden floor boards that may creak. I turned a corner, and two double doors with glass windows were at the end. I slowly went down, the music getting louder as I did. I peered through the windows to see an extraordinary and beautiful sight. Natasha was wearing black leggings and a sports bra and black pointe shoes. My eyes widened and she gracefully danced across the floor, her eyes closed as she moved freely to the music. The words to the song were not ones I recognised. In fact they were in what I assumed to be Russian. Nat continued to dance, and I watched with a smile. Her gorgeous frame moved across the floor with elegance and grace, she was perfectly balanced and impressively good. I watched for what felt like a good 15 minutes until she eventually stopped for a breather. She turned, pacing slightly. Her face was red, from the exercise but also what looked like crying. She turned to face the mirrors, leaning on the bar and staring at herself in the mirror. She shook her head and began to dance again, repeating the same movements until it was as she wanted it. Carefully I pushed the doors open, caution for a squeak. But unfortunately the old hinges echoed through the room. Nat shot around to look at me, her eyes full of hot tears. Her chest rose and fell swiftly as she breathed quickly. I just stood and stared at her damp face. She turned her back to me and I looked over the scars on her back. My feet instinctively carried me closer until I was able to wrap my arms around her from behind. She relaxed into my touch and her breathing slowed. "It's ok my love. I'm here now." I reassured her. She sighed and stood upright. She turned to face me, her green eyes looking down at the floor. My hand came up to hold her chin, lifting her head so she looked me in the eye. "Talk to me, please... I want to help you."

"You can't though. There's nothing we can do and that's the problem. Y/n. We lost. And now they're all gone." She tried to hold back her tears.

"You don't have to worry when you are with me. Let it out. We both lost, in fact we all lost. And we lost a part of our crazy family. But we both know it's not over. Nothing is that simple." My eyebrows lowered as I frowned. "On a side note. You forgot to mention that you dance!"

"Well, I stopped dancing. But it gives me something to take out my stress on. Trouble is it reminds me of my past. We were taught many things, but the only thing I truly liked was the ballet. Dancing until we could dance no more. Perfecting each and every move until we bled. There was something comforting in it. The beauty of it in such a hostile environment."

"Well I think it's wonderful. And so are you." I smiled, placing a kiss on her lips. She smirked.

"Part of the reason I'm so flexible I suppose." She looked down at her shoes. My breath hitched as she stepped closer so that our bodies were pressed together. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a passionate kiss. I almost frowned in confusion as she kissed me. It felt angry, but not in the good way that I would usually be excited about. I could feel the pain in her, through the kiss. I pulled away and she looked a little taken back.

"Y/n. Come on..." She sighed. I stepped back slightly, thinking strategically about what I was going to do.

"We can do this at home. You need... to um-" I lost my train of thought as she ran her tongue over her bottom lip and raised and eyebrow.

"What? You look a little flustered. Because what I need is you, right now. We can ease that pain." She smiled, closing the gap between us again. Before I could get another word in she dove into a kiss. Both of her hands cupped my face and she kissed me roughly. I closed my eyes, accepting it. I knew it would make her feel better and truthfully I would do anything to do that, plus it did feel good.

She pulled away, biting my lip as she did. I felt it sting as she pulled back before looking at me proudly. She moved to kiss down my neck and along my collar bone. I tipped my head back to allow her more space. She traveled back up to my jawline, sucking as she went. I knew it would leave marks. The gorgeous woman looked at me with puffy eyes and a smirk. The emotions had somewhat gone from her as she gazed at me. Her thumb came up to my lip, wiping off the bead of red that she had caused. I traced my tongue along my lip to taste the metal  from my blood. Nat didn't say a word as she turned to walk towards a bench. I rolled my eyes before turning to join her. "What was that about?" I asked softly.

"Numbing the pain." She muttered back. She began to unlace the pointe shoes, pulling them off slowly. I watched as a hint of pain came over her pretty face. I looked down at her feet, they were red and bleeding. "Tasha. I-"

"Don't. I know you too well, I know what you are about to say." She whispered, her voice a little shaky as she removed the next shoe. She moved her toes to loosen them up before pulling a pair of trainers out of her bag and slipping them on. She got up and left swiftly without another word. I was left sat in confused silence alone in the large studio. I ran my fingers through my hair before getting up and following her out. She was already heading towards the car when I managed to catch up to her. I couldn't run as my back was not up to it yet.

"How did you get here?" I asked looking around to see no car.

"Walked." She said quietly. "It helped with warming up."

"I see. Well I'm cooking tonight so we best get home." I smiled, getting into the car and putting on my seat belt. We drove for about 10 minutes in silence before Nat took a deap breath.

"Y/n. I'm sorry. I don't know what that was. I just... It's all been a little too much at the moment. And I went to dance to clear my head, but then it made me more angry. And then you came and it made me all embarrassed. But I know I don't need to be, and then I was a bit rough which was bad of me. You're dealing with it fine, I mean look at you. No one would even know you're hurting and here I am being all stupid So what I'm saying is I'm sorry." She spoke hurriedly and quietly.

"No, no. It's all okay. You are just being natural and I want to say thank you for that."

"Why?" She looked at me puzzled.

"For trusting me enough to open up, and be vulnerable in front of me. I know that it's hard for you." I smiled, looking over at her. Her eyes filled with tears as she smiled.

"I love you Y/n L/n." Nat sniffed.

"I love you, Natalia Alianovna Romanoff." I looked her in the eye quickly before looking back to the road.