Whoa. How the hell did I get home? Haha. Yeah. I was drunk. The problems were left behind and I was free. But now, welcome to the reality. I hear voices from the living room. Either I'm still drunk, or there's somebody in the living room with Marcel. I stood up, put my hair in a messy bun and walked out of my room. "Oh God." Marcel said and I rolled my almost closed eyes. I walked in the kitchen and poured some water into my glass. Oh. I still don't know who else is here so I walked in the living room and almost choked. Marco.
"Were you drunk?" Marcel asked and I looked only at him. Not Marco. Only Marcel. "Yes." I said in I-don't-care voice. "Emma you look terrible." he said and I smiled ironically. "You're not a model too." I said and walked past him. "Dear Lord! You smell like alcohol!" Marcel exclaimed and I turned around. "How unexpected when I was in a bar drinking alcohol!" I said louder and Marco stood up. "I wanna talk to you." he said and I faked a smile. "But I don't want to." I said and he sighed. "I don't think about you as of a slut." Marco said and I chuckled ironically. "No? So what made you come here?!" I asked and Marcel cleared his throat. "Emma don't yell." he said and I looked at him. "I'm not yelling." I said.
"And you - what made you come? Huh?!" I asked and he looked away. "Exactly what I thought." I said and he looked back at me. "What did you think?" he asked. How rude! He knows what I'm talking about, yet he's playing the stupid one. "You've come just to ask me if I'm over us and if I was with some men." I said and he looked on the floor. "I'm jealous. Okay. So what?" he asked and I had the tears in my eyes again. "So what?! Marco I would never ever cheat on you! Never! Not with Fabian! Not with anybody!" I screamed and looked at Marcel. "Say something." I told him. He's just standing there like a total speechless idiot!
"I was just worried." Marco mumbled and I took a deep breath to push the tears away. "You were worried, that is to say, you don't believe me! You just don't!" I exclaimed and he finally looked me in the eyes. "I'm just afraid of loosing you." he said and I shook my head. "You can hug your female fans and I can't even meet a friend of mine. You can do whatever you want and I am to sit at home and wait for you." I said emotionless. "Okay! I don't believe you! Just because I don't wanna get hurt! But I promise to believe you. I promise." he said with pleading eyes and this was the last thing I needed to hear.
"You don't have to promise anything because you will not get the chance to prove me! It's over! If you finally realize what you've done, then maybe, maybe I will talk to you!" I said and turned around to walk into my room and take a shower because I'm stinky. And mad. "We are over? That is to say that you have already somebody else than me?" he asked and it's freaking over after this. I turned around and stood in front of him. Boom. I slapped him across his face and the tears made their way out.
"You know what?! You can think about me that I am a slut! I don't care anymore! And you know what? I met Erik Durm at the club yesterday, I was drunk and we danced together! And I regret not taking him into the bed and having sex with him just to prove you that I am a slut!" I yelled with the tears rolling down my cheeks. "Emma!" Marcel said and ran to me. He hugged me and I sobbed harder by each tear. "Let me go." I said and pulled away from him. "You don't mean it." Marco mumbled. I punched his chest with my two fists what made him take a huge step back. "I hate you! You promised not to hurt me! But we've always fought!" I yelled and punched him again. "I hate you!" I said and emotionally broke down.
"If you hate me, it means that you still have feelings for me!" he said and I smiled through the tears. "Feelings full of hate. Not love. And be sure that I can love whoever I want to!" I said and he shook his head. "Not my teammates." he said and I let out a sarcastic chuckle. "You can't stop me!" I said and punched him again. "I can." he said and I punched him again, but this time I took a step back too. "If I wanna kiss him, I will do it. If I wanna date him, I will do it. If I wanna have sex with him, be sure as hell I'm gonna have one. If I wanna scream his name, I will do it." I said and his face got pale. So it feels good to know that I can do whatever I wanna do. "And it doesn't matter if it's Erik, Fabian, Schwarzenegger or Obama because you would be jealous anyways and you have no right not to let me do it." I said and walked away.
I locked myself in the bathroom and ignored those knocks on the door. I took off my clothes and let the shower pour on my body. Only love can hurt like this, must have been a deadly kiss, only love can hurt like this. Say I wouldn't care if you walked away, but...
I tip toed to my room and put on some fragrant clothes. I went to the living room and sat down on the couch. Marcel opened his mouth and so I spoke first. "I don't need to hear it." I said and he shook his head. "I understand you." he said and I furrowed my eyebrows. "Do you?" I asked and he nodded. "I know how much it hurts when the one that you love doesn't believe you." he said and I wiped the tears away. Argh. I'm crying again. "I just don't understand the things you've told him today." he said and I furrowed my eyebrows. There were lots of things so I don't know which one he means. "You told him that he doesn't believe you, fine. You told him that it's over, fine. You told him that he cannot control your life, fine. But I don't understand what got into you when you practically told him that you're gonna have... have sex with his teammate." he said and I stood up.
"I told him because I was mad. And because I just can't understand why he doesn't believe me." I said broken and he nodded. "He is too afraid of loosing you because he knows how you look like. You're beautiful, smart and funny. That's why he's jealous." Marcel said and I smiled a little. "But I'm not heartless. I would never cheat on him." I said and he nodded. "I know. And you should now that the last thing that you told him, the thing with having sex and screaming his name, got Marco crazy." he said. Something at least. "I just don't understand why you were talking about yourself as of a slut." he said and I sat down next to him. "Because he thinks of me that way." I mumbled and he shook his head quickly. "He doesn't. He just...just..." but he can't finish the sentence. "Don't make excuses for himself." I said and he smiled sadly.
"I don't want you to be sad." he said and I put my head on his lap. "I should have never met him." I mumbled and he shook his head. "And don't try to tell me otherwise because I'm not in a mood of listening to it." I added quickly and he sighed. "I don't want you to sleep with somebody just to prove Marco that you are capable of it." he mumbled and I looked at him. "I would never sleep with somebody on purpose to make him realize that I can do whatever I want. Right now, the only reason I'd sleep with somebody is just because my heart is broken into million peaces and sex would hopefully make me forget Marco for a moment." I said and stood up. "I don't want you to do anything stupid." Marcel called after me and I smiled sadly. I've already done a stupid things. Like believing Marco, loving him, sleeping with him... I was so stupid. But I thought that he would never hurt me. I was so damn wrong.
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