Sunday
I walked in the kitchen with a lump in my throat. One can't be surprised after the kiss yesterday. "Hello." I said and sat down opposite him. He looked up with rosy cheeks and his eyes got the sparkle. "Hi." he said and I took a sip of the water in his cup. He chuckled and shook his head. "Why are...are you already awake?" he asked and I shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't drunk, so I have no reason for sleeping til noon." I said and he giggled. "I'll go in a minute. Will you stay here?" Erik asked and I looked down on my lap. "I should finally go home." I said while still looking down. "Oh." he said and I looked at him. "So I'll pack my things." I said and stood up.
"Shall I drive you?" Erik asked while watching me putting on my shoes. "No thanks. I'll walk." I said and looked at him. "Thank you. For everything." I said and he nodded. "Sure thing." he said and I stepped closer. I kissed his cheek and he smiled. "I'll wanna see the tattoo then." I said and he chuckled. "I'll call you." he said and I nodded. "Thank you." I said and walked away.
....
I unlocked the door and put the bag on the floor. No lights. I opened the door of Marcel's room and chuckled lightly. "Marcel?" I whispered and he opened one eye of his. "Em?" he asked and I went closer. "You were as drunk as a skunk." I said while laughing and he buried his face into the pillow. "Are you staying?" he asked and I smiled. "Yeah." I said and patted his back. "Have some more sleep." I said and walked away.
I looked up from my plate and giggled. "You look terrible." I said and he rolled his half-opened eyes. "I don't wanna put the fire on, but Marco will come in a few." he said quietly and I thought for a while. "Okay." I said and he smiled. That kind of surprised smile. "Okay?" he asked and I closed the notebook. "Yes." I said and the door-bell rang. Marcel pointed on the door to see if he can go and open it and I shook my head as no.
Marco walked in the kitchen and smiled surprised. "Hi." he said and I smiled lightly. "Hi." I said and Marcel sat down next to me. "Breakfast?" he asked and I raised my eyebrows. "What would sir like?" I asked ironically and he chuckled. "Toasts. With ham." he said and I rolled my eyes. "Marco?" I asked and looked at him. He pointed on his body and I nodded. "I guess you won't be sitting here and looking at my cousin eating while you won't eat." I said and he smiled. "The same. Thanks." he said and I nodded.
"Em?" Marcel called and I looked away from the TV. "What?" I asked and he rolled his eyes. "How polite. If I bring the...uuum...tape, would you put it on my arm?" he asked and I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why tape?" I asked and he stood up. "I spent too much time in the gym." he said and I giggled. "I'll come back in a few." he said and walked away. Awkward silence between me and Marco. "I'm sorry for being annoying yestarday." Marco spoke and I looked at him. "You weren't annoying, but drunk." I said with a light chuckle and he looked down on his lap. I can't explain what I feel now. I just really don't know. "Is there a chance that you will forgive me?" he asked. "Marco it still hurts. When...when I think about her, that she was touching you..." I said, but couldn't finish it. "Then don't think about it." he said and sat closer to me.
I looked at him and shrugged. "I wish it's possible." I said and he looked down, then back at me. "I want time." I said and he rubbed my cheek. "You can have as much time as you need." he said and I nodded. Why time? Because Erik kissed me yesterday. And I have absolutely no idea what I feel. I love Marco. But he has hurt me. I like Erik. And he hasn't hurt me. What the hell am I to do?! Dear Lord help me! "Do you...do you remember what you were saying yesterday?" I mumbled and he smiled. "I do. I miss you and I love you. It hasn't changed." he said and I stood up. "Em where is the problem?" Marco asked softly. "I don't know what I feel." I said and it's time to let him know. He needs to know it. I won't tell him lies. "Erik kissed me." I said and he looked down. "He gave me a lift yesterday. From your place. And he kissed me." I said and he looked at me. "Why?" he asked and I shrugged sadly. "I don't know." I said and he stood up too. "Not why he kissed you, why don't you know what you feel?" he asked. "You love me, yet you've already hurt me. He likes me and he hasn't hurt me." I mumbled and he rubbed my cheek again. "I wish I could take the night away." he said and I nodded. "But it's not possible." I said. "Maybe...maybe everything will be fine in a few days." I said and he smiled. "I wish so." he said. I started walking to my room when I heard a sigh. I turned around and realized that there are tears in Marco's eyes. I pushed the mine away and went away quickly. I love him.
....
"Jessie how the hell am I supposed to figure out how I feel?!" I exclaimed into the phone while laying on my bed. "I don't know Em." she said with a sigh. "Please just help me." I mumbled sadly. I have no idea what I feel. I hate this part right here. I just can't take your tears. I hate this part right here. I know you'll ask me to hold on and carry on like nothing's wrong.
"Hello." I said when Erik opened the door. He smiled with a surprised sparkle in his eyes. "Hey. Come in." he said and I nodded. I stepped into his flat and took of my shoes. "What smells like..this?" I asked while he's been hanging my coat on the hanger. "What?" he asked with a giggle. It's like...menthol...but not that spicy one. I came closer to him and smiled. "It's you." I mumbled shyly. He smells nice. He blushed while laughing. "Yeah...I've just had a shower." he said and I nodded. Marco's smelt different. I've never smelt his cologne before. Marco.
"What made you come?" he asked and sat down next to me. I looked down on the floor and chuckled sadly. If I only know. "I don't even know." I said and looked at him. He smirked and furrowed his eyebrows. "Don't you?" he asked and I sighed. "I don't know what I feel." I mumbled and his smile froze. "What do you mean?" he asked and I sighed. "I don't know what I feel for you, nor what I feel for Marco." I said and he nodded in a disappointed way. I mean... I love Marco' but the thought of him with a slut makes me wonder if we'll be ever together again. But what do I feel for Erik? "You know why I'm confused?! Because of the kiss." I said and he blushed. "Why did you do it? I want an honest answer." I said and he blushed even deeper.
"I like you." he mumbled and this time I blushed. "I know...that this sounds like...I don't even know how, but...I do." he said and I chuckled. "I think I'd know..know what I feel if Marco had never slept with that slut." I said and he stretched his hand out. He rubbed my cheek with a smile on his face. "Figure it out then." he said and I smiled sadly. "It's not that easy." I said. It seems absolutely stupid. When I'm with Erik, it seems that I can forget Marco. When I'm with Marco, I think that I can forgive him after all. But my feelings are changing by every second. My thoughts and feelings are totally mixed.
"When do you finish school tomorrow?" Erik asked and I looked at him. "I don't know. I mean, I have an exam from 9." I said and he smiled. "I'm crossing my fingers for you." he said and showed me his fingers. I giggled and he started laughing on my laugh. "Why? Do you wanna meet?" I asked and he smiled. "I'd like to." he said and I nodded. "I should be done at about 10 so I'm gonna come then if it's fine with you." I said and he nodded. "Absolutely fine." he said and I smiled. I need something to do. Something different than sitting at home and thinking about Marco.
Thanks for comments and votes! I love all of youuu!
The next fanfic will be abouuuut...................Marco! Again. Haha. I just love him. :-)
But it was a tough fight between him and Erik.
